Next.
Wait...what...?
That can't be right.
I can't be next.Can I?
I can't possibly be having a baby in 30 days give or take a week.
Though if I have my way it'll be less...but I don't want to go jinxing myself or anything...because by stating this I am dooming myself to be pregnant until May.
But apparently, the rumors are true.
It's February. And I'm due March 4th. Which gives me practically ZERO time to get the rest of my ducks in a row...but ironically plenty of time to freak out.
A skill which I have mastered, much to my husband's chagrin.
Things are *sorta* coming together, I guess...
...a hospital bag is half packed.
...we've got a box that contains a rather large crib sitting in our front hallway waiting to be assembled this weekend. And a mattress for her to sleep on.
...we've got a class under our belts which supposedly told us how to have a baby...really? I can't UNSEE that traumatizing video. And it's not like I'm going to be watching my own daughter emerge from my hoo-ha, so was exposing me to such horror flicks entirely necessary? IGNORANCE IS BLISS, PEOPLE. They should really make all junior high and high school girls watch that video thirty times in sex ed...it would be amazing birth control.
...and we've got drawers and baskets of little pink ruffled clothes that are just begging to be worn by something other than a stuffed bear...or Phog. [poor Phog, he really has no clue what's about to happen to him...]
But whether we're ready or not, she's coming.
And according to my doula, I'm her next client. Next. Me. As is no one goes before me. As in, she's waiting for that call that says "Come on over! I'm in labor! Let's get this party started!"
I'm just hoping she has to wait a while for that call to come...
Because while I'm clearly the next on the list, I'm no where near ready for this. At least with Ironman I had 9 months to prepare with 100+ mile bike rides with 2 hour runs off the back end. It's not like I can experience getting to zero station and being 8 cm dilated with each "big build" so I know what to expect. Nope. I get to go into pain management mode blindly.
...and that's that spins me into a tizzy the most. The unexpected.
I'd like to think I've got an amazing and skewed threshold for pain. But I'm nervous that with the first "real" contraction I'm going to be reduced to tears in a pile of mush on the floor.
But women have babies everyday, right? In third world countries without the use of hospitals and doctors and modern medicine and accessible drugs, no less. And in many ways, I'm going old school, third-world country here. Attempting a drug-free birth. And not just because of my ridiculous fear of needles. But more on that some other time.
In the meantime I've got bigger fish to fry. And I don't mean the ginormous box with the contents of our crib overtaking our living space...
I need to figure out how to overcome pregnancy brain. Because homegirl walked to work without a bra on today.
Awesome.
That can't be right.
I can't be next.Can I?
I can't possibly be having a baby in 30 days give or take a week.
Though if I have my way it'll be less...but I don't want to go jinxing myself or anything...because by stating this I am dooming myself to be pregnant until May.
But apparently, the rumors are true.
It's February. And I'm due March 4th. Which gives me practically ZERO time to get the rest of my ducks in a row...but ironically plenty of time to freak out.
A skill which I have mastered, much to my husband's chagrin.
Things are *sorta* coming together, I guess...
...a hospital bag is half packed.
...we've got a box that contains a rather large crib sitting in our front hallway waiting to be assembled this weekend. And a mattress for her to sleep on.
...we've got a class under our belts which supposedly told us how to have a baby...really? I can't UNSEE that traumatizing video. And it's not like I'm going to be watching my own daughter emerge from my hoo-ha, so was exposing me to such horror flicks entirely necessary? IGNORANCE IS BLISS, PEOPLE. They should really make all junior high and high school girls watch that video thirty times in sex ed...it would be amazing birth control.
...and we've got drawers and baskets of little pink ruffled clothes that are just begging to be worn by something other than a stuffed bear...or Phog. [poor Phog, he really has no clue what's about to happen to him...]
But whether we're ready or not, she's coming.
And according to my doula, I'm her next client. Next. Me. As is no one goes before me. As in, she's waiting for that call that says "Come on over! I'm in labor! Let's get this party started!"
I'm just hoping she has to wait a while for that call to come...
Because while I'm clearly the next on the list, I'm no where near ready for this. At least with Ironman I had 9 months to prepare with 100+ mile bike rides with 2 hour runs off the back end. It's not like I can experience getting to zero station and being 8 cm dilated with each "big build" so I know what to expect. Nope. I get to go into pain management mode blindly.
...and that's that spins me into a tizzy the most. The unexpected.
I'd like to think I've got an amazing and skewed threshold for pain. But I'm nervous that with the first "real" contraction I'm going to be reduced to tears in a pile of mush on the floor.
But women have babies everyday, right? In third world countries without the use of hospitals and doctors and modern medicine and accessible drugs, no less. And in many ways, I'm going old school, third-world country here. Attempting a drug-free birth. And not just because of my ridiculous fear of needles. But more on that some other time.
In the meantime I've got bigger fish to fry. And I don't mean the ginormous box with the contents of our crib overtaking our living space...
I need to figure out how to overcome pregnancy brain. Because homegirl walked to work without a bra on today.
Awesome.
posted by Iron Jayhawk at 11:18 AM
4 Camper Comments:
That is funny! But, let me just say the brain never fully recovers at least not in my case.
If you can do an ironman you can have a baby without drugs!
I DID see that video in high school, although in child development rather than sex ed, and I totally agree. BEST. BIRTH CONTROL. EVER. Let me just say I'm really glad I won't have THAT view of the show when my time comes.
But YOU'LL be awesome. And you won't have to watch it. And if they ask if you want a mirror, JUST SAY NO.
You will do just fine. Be sure to have a plan written out for your doctor and have it delivered to the hospital. Just be prepared for your Plan A turns into Plan B...or Plan C (in my case!)
Girl you are going to be awesome! Unfortunately I agree with Denise...(really?)...but the most important thing to come out of this is safe mom and safe baby, and if you have to go off plan don't think you didn't do your job. Sometimes the little ones get stuck (ahem, Lucille :) ).
Saying that, be stubborn, and you have done your research and have a doula by your side so I know you can do it!
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