Burnt out.
There's no other way to say it.
I...am absolutely...and completely burnt out right now.
This morning we rode the Racine 70.3 course and tacked an hour-long run on the end. By mile 18 I may as well been cycling backwards. It took every ounce of effort to fight back the tears and hold it together. Heat, headwind and hills (I don't remember this bloody course having any climbing...what the eff is up with that?) ate me alive and I had a pity party, table for one.
When I rolled up to the aid station at mile 21, I proclaimed I was done. I had mentally checked out. I had resolved to either riding the 21 miles back, or sitting with the Chief of Pain in the middle of a corn field and crying until he drove me back to start. Gina, Sandy and crew would have none of that (thanks, by the way). So I sucked it up...fought off some demons, and did everything I could to keep turning the pedals. It wasn't pretty. And my glasses got a little fogged up from some tears. But some how I made it through.
Before the run the Punisher could tell I was in a sour spot. I really just wanted to be left alone to run it off on my own...me and the sound of my own foot falls. And it ended up being the most heinous transition run I've done in a really long time. I'm talking a 12 minute + pace. It was upwards of 90 degrees, minimal shade and paired with my bad mental attitude it all led to inevitable disaster.
The two highlights of the day? An insanely delicious burger of awesomeness from local Wisconsin treefort joint Georgie Porgie's and substituting an ice bath with a soak in the icy clear waters of Lake Michigan.
When I step back and look at it, I've spent the better part of the last 16 months training for long-course in some facet. Don't get me wrong. I love training. I usually enjoy long days (what? go spend 5 hours on a bike and throw a 10k off the back end?! Sounds like a good breakfast to me). But for some reason, I am in a massive funk right now.
It's not like the volume of work is breaking me. This 70.3 plan pales in comparison to what I did last year. I'm just mentally...not feeling it...for lack of better words.
I shouldn't have mixed feelings about this. But I do. I honestly don't know if I want to race long-course tri this season. And it's frustrating for me to have such uncertainty.
I want to be jazzed about this race. I want to go out, have a great day, post a great time, and see the rewards of my training the past few months (and the likelihood of me having a great day once I commit is high). But if my head isn't in it...should I really dish out a few hundred in a race entry? I have a hard time justifying it all right now. It's all so very fuzzy. And all I can really attribute it to is being severely burnt out...
...burnt out with less than a month to go for the planned race day.
Who knows. Maybe I'll wake up in a few days, win the lottery and be singing a different tune.
But right now in this moment, all I want to do is go for a long run and try to sort out all this nonsense.
Sigh.
Stay tuned to see what happens...
Labels: Burnt Out, Racine 70.3
posted by Iron Jayhawk at 9:04 PM
8 Camper Comments:
You've had a BUSY couple of years, lady! It wouldn't surprise me at all if you needed a bit of a mental break.
Advice you didn't ask for: Give it a few days, see if the funk lifts. If it doesn't? Bag the race for this year, but keep training! Spend this year building your fitness for the longer stuff, but just race whatever distances will be fun for you, even if it's shorter. Then come back next year and have some killer longer races.
(I had a bunch of tris on my calendar for this year, but I bagged them when I realized I had absolutely no desire to spend any time in the pool or on a bike. I did a lot of that last year when I couldn't run, and I just needed a break. So this year is a year for running, and we'll see what I feel like doing next year.)
I've been feeling the same way, this year. Really didn't enjoy my 70.3. Maybe we both just need to take a year off. Focus on other things.
Hang in there, Barb.
Everyone has an off day and it's okay to do so. Dust yourself off and move on. Continue your plan of waiting it out for a couple of days.
Saturday Alex and I visited with a couple of friends, he, a competitive roadie, she, an elite 70.3 level triathlete, and they are both taking time off this summer. They say they couldn't be happier.
If you're really not feeling the drive to compete then don't ruin the sport for yourself by forcing something that isn't going to bring joy. I know that I over registered for races this spring (running) and was not up for the last one, a half marathon. When I discovered that I actually had forgotten to sign up for it, and it was sold out, I was so relieved. But, now, with 6 weeks since the last 10k I ran, I'm raring to go for the season.
Ironman was huge and you really got back into training pretty quickly and pretty aggressively. I felt like a lump of adipose tissue reading about everything you and Molly were doing but I knew I just wasn't ready to start pushing again.
Give yourself a week - take time off training, especially a full weekend and see how you feel. What makes you sadder, the idea of racing or the idea of missing Racine? Go with your gut.
Barb, I feel U! I was in a funk with the coaching thing a few months back and was on the verge of calling it a career but something clicked to get me back. Just give it some time and see what happens.
Hang tough. With your prolific writing and tough training I think it is completely normal to feel that way. Don't bag the awesomeness just yet. Give it a week or two and see where your motivation is then
This was still in my reader so I thought I'd just give a quick hello and *hug.*
Hi! I just discovered the site, and reading older posts.. I enjoyed going through it and will visit you again soon! I started to run this spring and I hope I'll make it a habit.
Post a Comment
<< Home