Decade.

2010.

A new decade is on the horizon.

The past ten years have been nothing short of fantastic.
and crazy.
and awesome.

I...
Went to college.
Went Greek.
Found a love for Kansas basketball.
Found a love for beer.
Found my dark side.
Relished in my sunny side.
Was coined the sunshine queen.
Discovered more about myself than I'll ever care to admit.
Went to more concerts than I'll ever care to count.
Went to the pumpkins "final show" at metro.
Subsequently found a photo of me crying in Rolling Stone magazine.
Discovered there was good music outside of the pumpkins.
Almost died in a 311 mosh pit.
Felt butterflies in the pit of my core.
Had my lung collapse.
Had my heart broken.
Broke a few hearts.
Kissed and told.
Kissed and kept quiet.
Made some bad decisions.
Stood by said bad decisions.
Regretted some decisions.
Regretted the things I didn't decide to do.
Tried new things.
Stayed in my comfort zone.
Got into a writing zone.
Got published.
Twice.
Only told about 4 people at the time.
Not even my parents.
Didn't buy the book of short stories when it came out. (idiot).
Have searched far and wide for a copy with zero luck. (stupid limited press).
Didn't make the same mistake twice.
Bought the book that published a poem of mine.
Discovered a book that changed my entire perspective on life.
Discovered I have an unrelenting curiosity for almost everything.
Especially people.
Understood life is about reaction.
Not action.
And asking the right questions.
And living into the answers.
And learning that a lot of people never ever really, truly live. (and that's sad).
Dated.
A lot.
Stayed in some relationships too long. (shame on me).
Didn't given some a fighting chance. (shame on me more).
Dished out exactly one pity date.
Dated a friend's ex. (never again).
Dated a mormon rebel.
Dated two guys at once.
Dated three different guys who all drove Camero SS's. (coincidence, I swear!).
Pretended to date a frat boy as a joke on a friend.
Joke's on us.
We got married.
Bought a condo.
Got a cat.
Got a dog.
Got a job.
Got in debt.
Jumped ship and changed my career path.
Jumped out of a plane.
Started a blog.
Started running.
Didn't stop.
Began swimming.
And biking.
Did it all in one day in 15:54:51.
Got the ink.
Learned a ridiculous amount about myself in the process.
Realized that happiness is only what you make of it.
And I deserve nothing less than that.
And that things are just that: things.
And that I'm willing to try anything once.
Sometimes twice.
And in one instance, thrice.
Learned that no matter how hard someone may try, words can't be reeled back into a mouth.
And that your behavior is a true demonstration of your character.
And that it's best to step up and own your shit rather than sweep it under the table.
Learned that the company you keep is directly proportionate to your level of happiness.
And you should do at least one thing each day to make you happy.
Watched friends have babies.
Freaked out over friends having babies.
Realized that I'm not in a place to have babies just yet. (and apparently that makes me less important to some).
Realized that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. (but understand that whatever it is, I want to leave a positive impact on this world with at least one person).
Grew as a person.
Grew as a couple.
Grew as an athlete.
Grew as a friend.
Grew closer with some friends.
Watched strangers become friends.
And friends become strangers.
Realized that friends are the family you handpick for yourself.
And sometimes that can be just as good--if not even better--than the real thing.
Discovered that even as an adult, when you're the baby of the family you'll still get the short end of the stick occasionally.
Learned that sometimes you just have to man up and tell someone precisely where they can stick it.
And learned that sometimes you've gotta go where no one knows your name.
And that you can find comfort in strangers and friendship in fools.
Met some truly remarkable people.
And I carry a piece of each of them in my soul every moment of every day.
And that a random person on the other side of the country can impact your life more than you ever dreamed possible.
And that at any moment, at any age, you can find inspiration from the simplest of things...
...or even be that inspiration.

The past 10 years have had some pretty fabulous highs and some significantly shitty lows.
I can only hope that the next decade can match, if not trump this one.
For the most part, things seem to keep getting better with time.

Happy New Year's everyone...

...cheers!

Goals.

So I've been doing a fair amount of thinking about what 2010 will bring in regards to my random feats of athleticism (or lack thereof).

December has been fun...filled with lots of late nights and exercising my liver the way I used to do in college. I consider it libations training for New Year's Eve. The last thing I want is to be that girl who's all "WOOHOO!!!!" after two drinks. Because yeah...that's pretty much where I've been at since Ironman. With my luck, I'll end up on stage singing with The Black Keys and getting kicked out of The Riv. Sweet.

But all those shenanigans will soon be slowing down (not entirely phasing out, my friends will be happy to learn!) so I can get focused on the 2010 season.

For 2009, I wrote my goals down and hung them on my desk so I read them every day at work. I never once published them here, mostly for fear of accountability (I know, shame on me). Of the five goals--I solidly accomplished 4 of the 5...with that fifth one being a weight goal of dropping 10%...I ended up dropping about 8.5%, so I figure that's close enough. The others, training and race time goals, were all hit to my amazement.

So rather than withhold my 2010 plans. Here they are.

2010 will be all about improving three things.
three weaknesses.
three s's.

1. Speed.

2. Strength.

3. Spinning.

With speed, I've already seen great strides with my run pace within the last few months, but I've got some clear work ahead of me as I try to maintain that speed over distance. And not just on the run...but picking it up in the pool and on the bike, too. If I learned anything from Ironman training it's that I can't break myself, even when I'm going hard. Rarely do I really push myself to the edge physically and I've barely tapped into what I'm truly capable of. It's time to really lay things out on the track, be fearless and go balls to the wall during speed sessions to get myself to where I want to be. I need those mid-distance runs where I just cling onto the heels of someone faster than me and hold on for dear life. I need to learn how to pull 20mph into the wind on the bike. And push the swim to a point where people want to fall into my draft. Let's pick this shit up and claw my way rightfully to the middle of the pack, kids.

Strength? Good God, I am easily one of the physically weakest people in the sport. I've been looking into programs like Physio-Slow, CrossFit and Core Fusion to try and identify the right match for me to build strength. I'll start small with the weight room in our building to get a decent base in there...and then see where it goes. Lucky for me, I've got some folks in my camp who are willing to help me out so I don't kill myself in the process. With strength comes toning. And that'll help me build speed. And if I manage to shave off another 15 pounds in the process, more power to me. Though I'm forcing myself to be realistic with my weight.

And then there's spinning. Cycling still poses the greatest opportunity for improvement for me and I'm really looking forward to working hard with the Chief of Pain and Lara at Infinity and then joining in the women's group rides through Mox when the weather warms up. I plan on riding just to ride. And riding lots. And riding hills. And flats. And into the wind. And out of the wind. And really just getting back to those childhood roots where you'd bike as hard as you can (because you can), stand on the pedals and just FLY down hills fearlessly. All those organized century rides in the Chicagoland area? I hope to go to as many as I can. And I hope to see you there.

In regards to races, I've identified a few and will be updating that handy dandy little "upcoming races" section on my blog accordingly.

I'll kick the year off with the Shamrock Shuffle. I'm not so worried about this taking a high priority on the race calendar...but it does kick off the running season here in the Windy City, and there's nothing like running 5 miles in a sea of people through downtown.

Then in April, I really, really, really want to run a new personal best at the half marathon distance. We'll be headed down to St. Louis (where my 2:33 13.1 PR currently reigns) where I'll hopefully come home with a new time in the 2:20's. It'll be interesting to run this one by myself as the last time I was there I ran with my dad, which made pacing and all that jazz significantly easier and more fun. Maybe I should pay a friend to pace me at flat 11's for this bad boy? *cough*

And as of right now, that's it for road races. I may pick up a 5k down the line and try to go sub-27. Or perhaps I'll try me hand at the RnR Chicago Half since I get free entry (oh yeah...I forgot to share that exciting bit of news...perhaps another day).

In regards to tri's...I have a few tentatively on my radar.

Mike and I will return to Galena this year, but with a few friends in tow. It's the race I love to hate and hate to love. It makes every other triathlon you do that year feel like a piece of cake. The bike course is nothing but pure pain and misery with 1700+ feet of climbing over 16 unrelenting miles. It's the only race I've ever actually walked my bike *up* a hill or two. It's brutal. But awesome. And I've got a huge bone to pick with this course this time around. It's on.

I find it a little bit funny that I've done an Ironman...but never have I actually tried my hand at the Olympic distance tri (I used to blame the fact that I hated the 10k run distance--but really, I like going long or going short...the middle-ground stuff is just irritating to me...so it's high time I got over that). So...in 2010, I will give my first shot at the Olympic Distance, most likely at the Bigfoot Triathlon or perhaps Lake Geneva.

The Trek Women's Tri will be on my radar once more...and this year I get to introduce this chick to the fabulousness of the event. If I've put in the mileage necessary, I think I can go sub-1:30 for the first time ever. I really want to just push the pace on the bike and see how it all unravels from there.

And then, depending on how everything goes the first half of the year, and how I'm feeling about racing...I MAY pick up either the Racine 70.3 distance or the Steelhead Half IM. I also wouldn't mind heading back down state for the Great Illini Half IM again. Or I may suck it up and do the Chicago Triathlon. I really don't know at this point. We'll just have to wait and see.

I'm very much looking forward to things being a bit more lax this season. If I want to go out drinking on a Friday night with friends. I will. And I won't feel guilty about it. So with the exception of an Olympic Tri and the St. Louis Half...this year will be less about racing...and more about me enjoying the training process, redefining my body and working hard as much as I'm playing hard.

Good times all around.

A Race Report. (not mine)

It's funny...because it's true. Thanks for forwarding this along, Lauren!

Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

Okay. So I think I've figured out what's going on with the funk.

I've discovered that I am significantly happier with a routine. rhythm. a workout to look forward to. knowing what's coming next rather than sitting around taking up professional couch surfing.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...but it's just not for me. (at least not right now.) Which is a little funny considering I've managed to secure a gold medal in the marathon portion of the event over the past few weeks. Also on the podium with me, the other half and Phog the wonder dog. and an empty 12 pack at my feet. surrounded by pizza and oreo crumbs.

What can I say? I have mastered the fine art of sloth and gluttony.
The nuns at my grade school would be so proud.

But honestly? Being sedentary is simply driving me bat shit insane.
BAT.SHIT.INSANE.

I hate it.

I need to be moving.

Swimming.
Biking.
Running.
Yogaing.
Lifting. (much to my chagrin.)
Stretching.
Insert-Favorite-Verb-here'ing.

Movement is critical to my well-being. and my sanity.

Wait. Let's back that up...

Me being in movement is critical to the well-being and sanity of my family, friends and co-workers. Because frankly, I'm pretty friggin' unbearable and borderline depressed when I can't be doing stuff. And when I say borderline depressed...I mean full out wonky depression.

The winter always seems to be rough though. The general lack of movement by society paired with the cold weather and December notoriously being a button-popper of a month has really done a number on me.

So this morning, in an effort to shake the funk, I pulled out the tights, laced up and went out for a run (I'm one of those folks who'd rather run outside in single digits for 2 hours than on the hamster wheel for 20 minutes). No gadgets or gizmos. Just me, my shoes (okay...I lied, my iPod is a gadget), and the open, icy road for four or five miles. I ran away from things...ran towards others...ignored distance....and pace...and enjoyed the stinging fire of cold air in my hot lungs. A familiar burn that makes me feel at home...in my happy place.

As a result, I've found myself in a ridiculously happy mood. (Okay...so other things may have helped, too...like the fact that Mike is making Oreo Balls...teheheee...I said balls).

So let's turn this happiness into a plan...so I can stay in a fun, funk-free mood. and stay in motion. and help keep everyone around me a little more sane.

I'm going to try and get myself back into a routine. A few light workouts here and there throughout the week so I can get back on track. So 2010 isn't starting from scratch. and so I can be more productive and a better person overall.

My body is itching to get back. I feel good. The ink has healed. And the post-Ironman recovery has gone over better than I ever imagined.

I've got some thinking to do about a routine. Nail down which days I'll do what. And then figure out for how long. And then figure out exactly what it is I hope to achieve in 2010 with my random feats of athleticism...and then, of course, surround myself with people who will support me and cheer me on in pursuit those goals. I've got a few ideas on racing looming, but I do know one thing...

...I won't be going long.

...then again. My definition of "going long" is drastically different now than what it was a few weeks ago. There may be a surprise or two in the mix. Should be interesting to sort out...

So stay tuned to see how Barbara gets her groove back.

...and hopefully the only funk you'll see from here out, is the funk oozing from my body after a long, hard workout.

Thrown back into the wild...

Ever since returning home from Arizona, I can't lie...I feel like I've kind of been walking around aimlessly.

What's that? You mean I don't have to wake up early tomorrow morning and run until my blisters pop?

Needless to say, all this free time on my hands has made me a little crazy. I feel like I need to be doing something. anything!

We've decked the halls.

Okay...correction. Mike pretty much decked the halls. Those that know me well are likely scratching their head and asking if I'm sick since I pretty much LIVE for Christmas (remember my crusade last year?)...

But no.

I'm not sick.

Just in a funk.

A funky funk, at that.

Now that I'm back to "normal," I simply don't know what to do.

(and for the record, whatever this is going on with me, it's hardly normal.)

Adjusting to life after training is proving to be far more challenging than I ever anticipated. And dare I say that I actually miss doing those ridiculously long workouts? Because I do. Sorta. Just don't go and tell that to the Chief of Pain...because I'm not quite ready to start laying everything out for 2010.

So what do you do when you find yourself in a funk?

You do something permanent. and painful. and awesome.

So in true Barb Masochistic Fashion...I went with Mike and got inked on Friday night. But only after a freak out moment (I had it in my head we'd be going several days later) that consisted of a flurry of encouraging texts.

It was nauseating.

It was painful (arguably moreso than the race itself).

And it was exhilarating.

I nearly drew blood when bit my tongue since there wasn't anyone holding my hand. I focused on three-part breathing. I came close to tossing cookies. The burn reminded me that I was alive. And I found peace in the pain.

I think it looks pretty damn fabulous on me, too.

I promptly went home, opened a beer, and admired the new awesomeness in the mirror for a while. Then had to triple check to make sure it didn't wash off accidentally.

(Talk about doing something drastic!)

But I can't lie when I say it's been fun being able to peel of clothes and show off the ink to anyone who wants to see it (including a bartender--woot!).

In other news--after 10 months of minimal alcohol consumption (much to the chagrin of my husband and my friends), I've gotten wasted two consecutive weekends, including last night's small gathering of friends "throwing my back into the wild" since I hadn't seen the interior of a bar in oh, almost a year.

The hangovers hurt so good.

And my tolerance was surprisingly not too shabby all things considered.

I've done exactly one workout since IMAZ...a run mid-last week, just to test out the legs and make sure they still functioned. And to my amazement...they did. A little too well, perhaps. I decided to go out and just run until I felt like I should turn around and run home. And after three miles along the lakefront, I had to fight myself to turn around and go back. I honestly think if you asked me to throw down a solid 10-miler, I would've been able to. Easily. Instead, I was happy with the 6 I cranked out at a 11:01 pace.

I still find myself sitting around thinking "what's next," "so...," and "now what?"

I mean...how do you top a day that was so infinitely awesome? Where on earth do you go from here? Because really...the finish line was indeed its own start line...the start of arguably many things...

...but the start of exactly what? I'm not sure...

...but I can't wait to figure that part out.