Night of the Living Dead.

I'm not a big fan of horror flicks...in fact...anyone who knows me, knows just how much I loathe them. A scary movie must be watched under my terms...usually in broad daylight, lights on, windows up, with a pillow within quick grasp so that I can cover my eyes.

I mean...it's bad people...really bad...

You know that annoying girl in the theater who shrieked every time the bad guy's music came booming over the loud speakers? Yeah. That was me. And the obnoxious audience member who threw her popcorn in the air and hit under the seat when the killer jumped out from behind the bushes? That was me, too. And the one that had to sprint out of the theatre? And stayed up all night having horrible nightmares? And had to watch Disney movies for three weeks straight to get the image of Kevin Bacon being stabbed from underneath the bed out of her head? That's aaaaaaaaaaaaaall me, baby.

And most of you...even though you may not know me personally...know my name...Barbara.

And what context does "Barbara" fit within the scary movie realm?

Oh yeah...that's right...

"THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU BAAAAAARBARA....THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAARBARA......."

I'll admit. I've never seen the flick. Nor do I have plans to. And there is no amount of alcohol on this little green globe that I could consume to convince myself that it would be a bright idea. But ever since I knew where the phrase came from...it has scared the living skeevies outta me. And that's an understatement.

Back in high school I had a group of friends that loved the scary movie drama. I'd humor them and sit there while they watched a movie...I'd just try to sleep...or go over my cheerleading routine in my head...or think about upcoming exams...or try to make out with a cute guy...or...well...you get the picture. So anyways...we had just finished watching some scary movie, of name is of no importance...and said group of friends begin the "let's freak barb out" mantra of....THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU BAAAARBARA...

And in true Barb fashion...I got all drama queen pissy pants and up and left, all the while they kept chanting. Since it was a scary movie night, I literally bolted to my car...you know, to avoid the scary, masked, killer with a chainsaw lurking in the bushes awaiting me, his cute, sweet and innocent prey.

However...this one night in particular...there was no scary killer...but rather...a peculiar little beatty little red eyed beast...

I was attacked by a cicada...and it was a malicious attack at that...and it has seriously scarred me for life...

To this very day these things seriously scare the shit outta me. They're gross. They're ugly. They're persistent. They're crunchy. And they're obnoxious as hell.

And as luck would have it...Chicago's card has come up for the next visit of these lil' effers (due to take over the city in the next 36 hours).

And of course, I'm over here freaking out...because the cicadas are coming to get me...

I may just hide behind closed doors until those ugly lil' effers are gone and the new 17 year countdown can begin until their next visit. Should make workouts for the next few weeks interesting, right?

In other news...the sunburns here in the Jayhawk/OOSG household...stil bright red. The back of my neck is in bad shape still, but no peeling or blistering just yet. Mike, on the other hand, isn't so fortunate. He's in a lot of pain and the blisters are-a-plenty. I hit Walgreens up earlier to pick up a bunch of stuff in hopes of finding something that would relieve the pain. Lotions and such are working well for me...but if anyone has any brilliant remedies that I can share with Mike, it'd be greatly appreciated.

While getting into a heavily-chlorinated pool is out of the question until my skin clears up (cause lets face it, it'd dry the hell outta me), I was hoping to get on the bike tonight...which didn't happen because by the time we finished up dinner it was starting to get dark outside. So I ended up doing 30 minutes of pilates focusing on my abs, buns and thighs...my core is-a-quiverin'. It has been a while since I've done any type of pilates workout, and I forgot just how much it can burn. I'm hoping to get it incorporated back into the mix.

Okay...all this talk of scary movies has gotten me all freaked out and paranoid again. So I'm off to go toss in Aladdin or Lion King or something as equally "it's a small world." 'cuase in my bubble of full-length feature animation films with upbeat songs and happy endings, there are no scary masked killers lurking in the bushes...and there certainly are no cicadas.