Sick.

Being sick sucks. I feel as if I've been hit by a truck. My neck aches, by back is throbbing and my shoulders are so tight I can feel the knots building up within them. My nose is all blocked up and insanely runny...the congestion is just too much to deal with. My ears won't stop popping...some hours I can hear from one and not the other, and in some magical twist of insanity, they switch positions. Swallowing and yawning don't help. If I tilt my head down or to the side, my ear drum hurts. Not aches. HURTS. I had a flu shot back in Nov/Dec, so I'm not convinced that's what I have. If this is "just a head cold" it's one helluva head cold and really knocking me off my rocker. So pardon me while I whine...but THIS SUCKS.

And on top of all this, as if it doesn't get any worse...I can feel my left top wisdom tooth cutting through the gum.

Brilliant.

So here I am...at 12:30 in the morning. Unable to sleep between my bouts of sneezing, wheezing and coughing...with Mike sleeping on the couch in the other room. No point in both of us getting sick, right? The bed just seems so vacant :(

...I just want to feel healthy and re-energized so I can start running and climbing stairs. The Hustle will be here before I know it!!! :sigh:

Declaring my next marathon...

Yup. It's official, folks. The little update on my race list to the right is no mistake.

Yours truly will be participating in the Chicago Marathon on October 22nd. I must be out of my mind. I keep thinking that running around my own city will really mess with my head, since I know the course so well. I'll be running through wrigleyville and think that I still have 18 miles left...or running around the United Center knowing I'm only half way there. It definitely has the potential to wear on me mentally. In Arizona, I liked not knowing what was up ahead of me on the course. But now...I'll know every bend and McDonald's along the way. Could this be a recipe for disaster? Or a blessing in disguise?

So to commemorate the announcement...here's a pic of me getting ready to cross the half way arch during the Phoenix marathon. And yes, I was doing the "airplane." I'm sure I'll be just as loony in October.

In other news, Rae finished the Miami marathon today in 4h28m. Her hubby posted her time and I'm sure her race report is soon to come. But pop on over and congratulate her...she apparently didn't even hit a wall! She's my hero!!!!!!! What a wonder woman...how does she do it!?!?!?

I've got an itch.

The past two days I've had the itch to get out and run. Not my little walk/run thingy. Full on run. Hardcore...go out and push yourself...get your blood pumping...heart throbbing...run like someone is chasing you at gun point type run. I'm pretty certain I won't make it very far with my left side still being all tight despite my stretching. But that's okay. Because I want to go out and get my legs moving. I miss it. I actally can't wait to get back out there again. I'm excited for group training to start back up. So tonight, when I get home from work, I'm going to lace up my running shoes and run...on the treadmill (blech). Now it may only be for a mile or two, since it's my first time at it since my marathon, but that's okay. And even though I'm soooooo not a fan of the treadmill, it'll at least get me up and going again...and at this point, that's all I care about. It's just a little too chilly for me to be outside with this head cold coming on.

I can't wait for group training to start up again. There's something about going out with a group of runners on a crisp saturday morning that makes it THAT much easier to wake up early. I wish I had the drive and energy (and good night sleep) to get up and work out BEFORE the work day begins. But alas...I love my sleep too much.

Taylor and I had every intention of doing the stairs in her building during half time of the Kansas game last night. But after the day that I had...I needed a beer. And with that single beer (which tasted, SO.INCREDIBLY.GOOD.) I blew the entire stair plan. But Kansas did come from behind to beat Texas A&M, in case you were wondering and this Saturday we take on Iowa State...I'm debating whether I should sleep in this weekend or get up and do a few miles (which is sounding pretty good!). We'll see how I'm feeling...

And for your reading pleasure...2005 Marathon Stats...pretty interesting stuff.

-B.

What nobody ever told me about running a marathon...

So yes, I knew that running a marathon would do a number on my feet. For months I worked on building up callouses and all that jazz. I basically anticipated the blistering during and after the race...gross, but fine. What I didn't anticipate is what would happen next. And all I can say is...uhmm...EW!!! So consider yourself warned! The callouses themselves sorta turned into their own blisters. Two of which have popped...so I have these big, thick chunks of nasty dead, calloused skin literally peeling and flaking off of my feet...see, told you it was gross. Because it's so freaking thick, it makes it feel like I have a hole in my heel and next to my big toe. It doesn't hurt or anything. It's just...uncomfortable. And weird. Like I have an snake alien foot thing going on where it sheds its own skin. Yep. That's pretty gross.

In other news...I WENT OUT ON FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!! Man did it feel good and Mike was beyond excited to get a little night life back. I haven't had a beer in how many months (think something along the lines of 5 or 6--I stuck with wine during training). We indulged in pitcher after pitcher after pitcher of the sweet nectar of the gods. I forgot how good it was. Mmm...beer.

After much discussion, I have come to the conclusion that my next marathon will most likely be Chicago. Mike's a little worried about me jumping into training again too fast. But doing Chicago will give me a bit of training downtime. I've got a few smaller races before training picks up, and the Hustle Up The Hancock next month...so things should be all good. :)

The recovery process has been going well...with the exception of said nasty flakey feet. My legs are a little bit tight still and my left hip and knee are a tad sore, but overall i'm feeling fantastic and I can't wait to get back out again! Haven't tried to run just yet...but I may try and head out for two or three miles this weekend...

...i just wish i had been forewarned about the flaking feet. Icky!

The Aftermath...

...after I crossed the finish line my body literally came to a screeching hault. I sorta walked around aimlessly exchanging hugs with my coach, family and friends that had gathered on the other side of the fence, even strangers who were willing to share in the post-marathon jubilation of a sweaty little jayhawk.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel at that moment. Don't get me wrong...I felt great...and elated...and accomplished....and strangely VERY sad. I wanted to go back to mile 1 and do it again (yaking incidents and all). I didn't want the sensation to end...I felt proud and I knew I deserved every last one of those cheers and words of encouragement that came from the spectators...but I was bummed that it was over...I felt frustrated because I suddenly couldn't walk...what?! what's this? i can't move my legs...oh geez!!!

I look down and I am walking bow-legged. It felt like I was walking normal. So I focus on my legs and force myself to walk normal...it felt like I was walking pigeon-toed. It was soooo bizzare! A marathon does crazy things to your body. So here I am...walking around like a cowboy who just jumped off his horse after a long ride...aimlessly walking in circles. And then it dawns on me...

...i don't have my medal.

I finally get it in my brain to follow the chute...i get my chip removed and a wonderful volunteer drapes the heavy medal around my neck (me, being the rockstar non-athlete that I am and having just completed a MARATHON thought it was a cruel joke to put something SO HEAVY around the neck of someone so weak--yet somehow I kept enough strength to stay standing). I stare at her like a deer in headlights. My eyes welt up and I leaned in to hug her. The sense of pride and accomplishment was simply overwhelming.

I get my photo taken and I'm still wandering aimlessly, coming down from my marathon mode. My brain simply isn't working. Thank god Sarah was there. She helped me move through the food line (couldn't eat a single thing), picked up my Spenco flip flops (which, by the way, were hard as a rock) and got me to my family. I aimlessly walked in disbelief...slowly, I should add. Snails without tails could've passed me.

Out of nowhere, I remember I have to check in at the TNT tent. I make my way over there, family-less. Oops. I forgot to tell them where I was headed...once again, Sarah saved the day and herded everyone after me. Tovah greets me at the tent with a congratulatory bear hug and my 26.2 TNT pin. I sit. Someone hands me a PB&J sandwich. I muster up the strength to swallow a whole two bites. My head is buzzing...I need to take off my shoes...but my comfy flip flops are in my gear check bag...but I couldn't walk back over to the gear check...cause I couldn't stand up...I couldn't move...my brain was saying GET UP BARB! but my body simply wasn't responding...and that's when my feet began to throb. Mike snagged my bib and ran over to pick up my gear.

With the help of my good friend Josh (aka the dude who got me into this mess) and Mike, I'm literally picked up and slowly made my way to the medical tent. Take my shoes off? No problem...EEOOOOWWWWW!!! Nobody warned me of this pain!!! Removing shoes was clearly a painstaking task. No matter how gentle I was...it felt like my toes were ripping off right along with the shoe. My mum, being the wonderful, motherly mother that she is...somehow managed to pull my shoes off for me...and then my socks. And god love her...she actually braved getting within 6 inches of my feet and gently blew on my blisters. Much to my surprise, it helped. I had my MANY blisters taped up (I hadn't had blister problems in training...what's up with that?) and ice for my hip and knee. The medical folks were great.

One image that will forever be engrained in my mind is a young man across the tent from me. He had blood coming from out of his sneakers...yes, his shoes were bleeding! They removed his shoe to find a blood-soaked sock...my guess is a toenail fell off somewhere along the 26.2 mile course. A medical assistant blocked my view so I wouldn't freak out. Good call. I freak out over everything (as if you couldn't tell).

By now my mom and her crazy orange-wigged friends have to say good-bye. The thought of them leaving SO SOON really upset me, but I knew they needed to get back to California. And sadly, I kissed each one of them good-bye. I felt lost after they left. I couldn't make a decision on my own to save my life. Take the bus or have dad drive me to the hotel?? Are you kidding me? How dare you challenge my mind with such an intimidating question (and EVERY question at this point was beyond overwhelming). Ultimately someone else makes the decision for me. The bus it is...

With my dad's help, I slowly climb on and find Margie there, holding a spot for me...my grunting buddy from mile 24 (we finally had a half-way coherent conversation!)...and Coach Sarah...all waiting for me. My body was exhausted, but so alert. Sarah keeps telling me I need to eat. All I can do is suck on a Jolly Rancher, but even my favorite flavor tastes so nasty.

After I get back upstairs and settled into the hotel, my dad says good-bye and heads back to California to join my mom and the wine club. Mike draws me a cold bath...and it takes forever for me to get settled into it. Mike was such a great sport. He literally had to dress me and move me around since my hips and legs were hurting sooooo badly. All my bandages fall off in the bathtub, so he runs out for more. I promise to munch on pretzels while he's gone.

...that was a lie. I maybe suffered down 2. And out of nowhere, I have this insane craving for McDonald's cheeseburgers. I call him to tell him about the craving...and he drives around for 20 minutes in pursuit of a McD's for me. Finally...when he's about to call off the search, the golden arches appear. In the meantime, I've somehow managed to crawl out of the bathroom and sit on the couch in a towel. I couldn't reach my suitcase, so I figured I'd stay put until he got back.

After he returned and helped me get dressed, I managed to scarf down two cheeseburgers (sans pickles/onions) in less than 30 seconds. It tasted so frigging good. And I was still hungry. I wanted more...so I settled for his french fires.

Mike also surprised me with a super cute stuffed Monkey...aka my Marathon Monkey (he was going to do flowers, but they die)...lots of ice and tylenol later, I was finally in a position where I could go to the TNT victory party. After the 45 minutes it took to get my downstairs to the bus, we were on our way.

God must have a sense of humor because everywhere I went in Phoenix had stairs. I walked up them sideways and backwards and every way inbetween...it hurt. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can find a ramp after a marathon...take it. You'll save yourself a good 20 minutes and a good deal of humility!

Overall, the damage appears to be minimal. My hips and knee were quite sore, but nothing I couldn't handle. My feet and toes were covered in blisters. But ya know...it's a very small price to pay for such a meaningful medal to hang around my neck.

Every ounce of frustration...every ache and pain...every last little doubt in the back of my mind...it was all worth it. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat. And I am...after the race, I said there's no way I'd do another marathon. Later that night, I thought...well maybe a half...and now I'm thinking to myself...I can totally handle this...bring on the Chicago Marathon this October!! Part of me wants to challenge myself for a triple crown...having completed a marathon, triathlon AND century ride with TNT...but I figure I've got some time to do that.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to just relax and focus on my "running"--afterall I am not a runner, nor am I an athlete...but one thing that I am...is a marathoner.

My Debut Marathon [Warning: Quite Long]

Standing in the corral amid the thousands of runners was an unbelievable sensation. I think that's when it really hit me. I...a non-athlete...was about to run a marathon. I had my iPod and my Garmin in check...I shed my throw away sweat pants that I picked up for the occasion and continued to warm up my legs.

Before I knew it, we started moving forward. I never heard a gun go off...just the buzz and excitement of the crowd. It took exactly six minutes for Coach Sarah and I to cross the start line...we were anticipating at least a 15 minute wait. I didn't question it...I synched my Garmin and just like that, my first marathon steps were taken.

There was a good vibe in the air. My stomach had settled and I was in a zone. I kept laughing to myself and repeating that I was doing a marathon...mostly because I was in disbelief and needed to convince myself that it was actually happening...and happening right at that moment.

Mile 1, 2 and 3 flew by. Coach and I were pacing really well and off in the distance, I saw my dad and my husband Mike. They were both excited to see me looking good and going at a strong pace (I called Mike after I had gotten sick so he knew to keep a close eye on me, I could tell he was nervous for me)...my dad was cheering and waving around a bright neon sign that read "You Go Girl!" It was hilarious. Apparently my mom had made him a handful of signs to bring with him since she couldn’t be there—she was in palm springs vacationing with a handful of her girlfriends.

I pulled over to the side for hugs and hellos, and moments later I was sent on my way...alone. I smiled as I walked and ran...soaking everything in. And soaking in a lot of sun. By mile 4, I was burning up. ...and it was only in the upper 50's according to a bank temperature board. Sheesh! This is gunna be a hot one. I was already feeling a little light headed...as were other folks who had trained in the freezing cold. Our bodies just weren't ready for anything above 45 degrees.

I wasn't supposed to see Mike and my dad again until Mile 9, so I was thrilled that they had surprised me at 6. Sarah walked with me for a little bit and I mentioned how I was burning up and light-headed...she advised that at the next water stop I start pouring water over my head. Why didn't I think of that first? I guess that's why she's the coach.

So I was bopping around and noticed that I was on pace for a 6 hour marathon. Sweet! I was nearly a half mile ahead of course...which was fine by me because I felt strong and was used to pacing at that speed. Mile 9 came and went with yet ANOTHER visit from my family and Coach Sarah (my dad was driving her around the course so she could meet up with other people from our chapter).

Miles 9-12 came and went fast. So I'm toddling and all of a sudden it hits my like a ton of bricks. ...I have to pee....right now...really...really...REALLY badly. And of course, there are no porta potties in sight. Bushes start calling my name...as do walls that I can hide behind. Thankfully I found a construction site on the side of the road that had a single porta potty....with no line! I announced to everyone around me I had found a line-less pit stop and pulled over...with around 6 people following me. Finally there's relief.

...and before I knew it, I saw mile 13 off in the distance and start to pick up the pace. I saw Tovah, my campaign coordinator, cheering for me just before the 13.1 marker...next to her I remember seeing a massive KU flag waving. I didn't think anything about it, I just cheered with excitement and thought it was someone from the Kansas support team there, too. It never even occurred to me that it was Mike. Whoops! I danced right by them without batting an eye, just cheering "Rock Chalk Jayhawk!"

On the other side of the 13.1 mile balloon arch was Elvis. I had to stop and take a picture with the King. After all, it's not very often you see him out and about on a marathon course.

The next few miles were a little slow...we made our way through a residential area and there weren't too many people out supporting us marathoners. I was still on pace for a 6:10-6:15 'thon. I have to credit the woman in the royal blue shirt who was standing by herself in the middle of the median cheering on the top of her lungs for each and every individual person. Folks were running up for high fives...I ran up for a hug. Much to my surprise, she welcomed it. I was smelly, sweaty, nasty and wet (from all the water I had been pouring over my head), but she genuinely seemed to appreciate the gesture.

Somewhere along the 15th mile, Coach Sarah caught back up with me. She was bouncing around to all the different TNTers along the stretch seeing how their run was going. By this point, I was experiencing some new pain. Never once did I have knee or hip problems during training...but those aches sure made up for the absence while I was out on the course. She gave some advice and helped me get to Mile 18 where my dad and Mike drove her to the final stretch so she could run some of my teammates in.

Now I was told that a marathon truly begins at mile 18. I believe it. My feet were starting to get heavy and it was becoming increasingly apparent that I could've used more Body Glide. Thank god for medical tents with Vaseline.

Around 19 I met up with some guy from Phoenix...a former triathlete. He signed up for the full marathon yesterday after a friend bet him he couldn't do it. I was struck with disbelief...I had been training for 5 months for this and here he was just going out and doing it unprepared. Dah well...I could tell he was hurting...and he still had 7 miles left. I was okay, generally a little bit sore, but nothing I couldn't handle. I kept reminding him that it was just pain and to keep pressing forward (advice that I had a hard time swallowing later on). With the 20 mile marker ahead of us, and photographers ready to take snapshots, we agreed to run across it together. After the photographers, I kept going...and I lost him in the crowd.

Mile 21 was where I absolutely lost it. With every step my feet and shins were fire. It hurt to speed up. It hurt more to slow down. And each time my foot struck the ground I felt my foot become engulfed in flames. Was I really walking on fire!? Tears swelled my eyes, but throwing in the towel was never an option.

I rounded the bend of an intersection to find Mike and my dad, once again there cheering for me. Man did I need that right then! I was in so much pain I just wanted to sit down and sob. But I knew if I sat, I might not be able to stand back up. Mike agreed to walk with me. I slowed my pace down a bit. Quite a bit actually. This was around the time I blew my 6:10 marathon. My 13-14 minute miles became 18 minute miles, possibly worse. I had hit the wall...and it was hitting me right back. It took a good two and a half miles before I had the strength to push right through it.

So off I go, with my wonderful husband in tow listening to me whine and gripe with each step. I was really in bad shape. So he gets the brilliant idea to call my mom to help uplift my spirits. We get her on the phone and I'm literally in tears. She says something about sitting by the pool in California, drinking wine and toasting to my efforts. I handed the phone back to Mike. Had I stayed on the line with her, I would've sputtered every four-letter word in the book...I wanted to crawl through the phone and inflict physical pain upon her...her "uplifting words" were exactly what I didn't...couldn't...refused to hear at that moment. I love my mum...but geez was her timing terrible. Doesn't she know I'm about to keel over and die on the side of the road?

After much needed whining and lots of tears later, we find my dad at mile 23, waiting to drive Mike to the finish line for my big finale. In the back of my mind I was questioning if there truly was a finish line. I felt like I had walked mile 23 over...and over...and over. It was a scene from Groundhog Day. And oof...it hurt.

This is around the time I desperately want Coach Sarah to turn up to help run me in. Talking to others just helps you forget about the pain. With Sarah no where around, a gal from the Kentucky TNT chapter and I start talking...no...mumbling back and forth to each other. I had no clue what she was saying...or what I was saying for that matter. But just the grunts of communication really seemed to help. I finally push through it all and know that some way or another, I will finish the race.

Remember around Mile 3 how I said my mom couldn't be there? And her cruel, cruel comment about drinking by the pool? Well...I was in for a BIG surprise.

I'm coming to the end of the last really long stretch of road and up ahead I see these bright, obnoxious orange wigs. I'm thinking to myself SCORE! The next cheer squad is up ahead, that'll help me get to mile 25! Out of nowhere...I hear "Go Running Jayhawk! You can do it, Barb!" and so on...and in this brilliantly obnoxious orange wig (with blinking devil horns, no less) I see my mom's shirt coming running towards me. I am completely and utterly confused. And then it hits me. That's not just my mom's shirt. It is my mom.

...and her magnificent girlfriends...all decked out in fantastically hideous wigs...holding neon signs of encouragement...to keep me smiling...and keep me moving. And it worked. ...and so...once again, I absolutely lost it. The four of them woke up before dawn, to drive five hours to meet me at mile 25...for a whole few moments...only to turn around and drive back after I finished the race. Boy do I have rockstar family and friends, or what!?

So they're walking with me...and I'm in this delirious state just laughing at them. They had me fooled. I wasn't in good shape and the crazy foursome carried me to the end. We travel together for a good half mile and I see Coach Sarah up ahead in the distance. I dash up to hug her and then introduce her to my mom and her friends. We're all walking together, laughing and taking pictures.

...and with that, someone (I think it was Debbie) said...don't let us slow you down, Barbara...go finish this...and so I picked up the pace with Coach Sarah. I saw my mom and her friends speeding up so they could make it to the finish line to see me cross. I could only hope they wouldn't hurt themselves along the way.

With less than a mile left I let out a massive scream straight from my belly....it was for all those who doubted I could do it (there were a few!)...it was for the doctor who insisted I'd need an IV by mile 8...it was for the doctor 2 years ago who told me I could never handle any major endurance or cardio event when my lung collapsed...it was for every challenge that I had to overcome to get to that point...that single scream poured out every ounce of frustrating emotion I had bottled up inside me about the race and I left it right there on the course...exactly where it needed to be.

I crossed the 26 mile marker and was desperately searching for the finish line around the bend. I told my coach "to hell with this" and took off in a mad sprint...I ran past Margie, screaming for me at the top of her lungs...I ran past the cheering Carsons and the Moosbruggers (family friends) who had waited well over an hour to see me cross the finish line...out of the corner of my eye I saw my dad jumping up and down for me and even though I couldn't see him, I knew Mike was right there watching me too...

And with 40 yards left to go...I smiled and spread my arms out like the wings of an airplane, the way a child does on a windy day, and weaved my way side to side throughout the chute, savoring those final last marathon moments and floated my way across the finish line.


The announcer comes over the loudspeaker... here comes barb... flying her way in...

...he was right.

...i was flying.

The morning of the race...

I woke up Sunday morning feeling strangely calm, you see, calm is not a sensation I am used to. I'm always buzzing around from one thing to the next, keeping myself busy. So as after my phone alarm went off (the first of many alarms that morning), I just stretched out in bed, staring at the ceiling attempting to calculate just how much sleep I actually got. A good five and a half hours it seemed...quite surprising. I crawled out of bed and started to get ready.

First on my list of things to do, take my medicine so I could eat. I must have circled the room fifteen times before actually picking up my prescription. My coach warned me about "marathon brain." How I'll know what I need to do to get ready but be unable to execute. Finally, I get a grip and take my medicine and slowly force myself to eat a bagel (pre-run food has been quite difficult since I am sooooo not a breakfast eater). I was glad I laid out all my clothes the night before or else I probably would've misesd the race from the continued pacing. With half a bagel down, I decide it's time to start getting dressed. Bodyglide...check. Deoderant...check. ShirtShortsSocksShoesEtc...check. The process takes me all of 10 minutes. And as I'm standing there in the mirror looking at myself in my bright purple TNT jersey, I struggle with wondering if I look ridiculous or if I look like a "serious athlete." Oh...who am I kidding...I look ridiculous. Me? An athelete? CERTAINLY NOT!! And THAT's when the nervous energy started. I had everything I needed. There wasn't anything else coaches could do or say to me. Before the day's end, I would be a marathoner. And with this notion buzzing through my head, the nervous kept escalating.

By now it was 5:30 and I decided that if I was going to be a basketcase, I needed to be a basketcase in the presence of other people. So I grabbed my gear check back, the rest of my bagel, a banana and a powerbar and headed to the lobby...a good 30 minutes earlier than needed.

I was surrounded by purple jerseys that I didn't know. I saw Denise, a fellow MN TNTer that I had befriended through My Space...I wished her luck as she jolted outside to catch the bus and hoped to see her in our corral. I sat down and was soon joined by Coach Sarah and Margie and a few of my teammates. By now I had finished the other half of my bagel and was encouraged to try and get a little bit more down. So I went for the banana...which I would later decide was the worst decision of the day.

After all the Illinois full-marathoners met up, we headed toward the bus. My stomach was flopping around. I was beyond nauseous. Margie and Coach Sarah did everything they could to keep me calm on the ride over there. But by this point, I knew in my head that I was about to get sick...and it wasn't going to be pretty.

Not even ten steps off the bus, I run and hide behind a bush. I'll spare you the details, but simply say, yak incident numero uno occurred (from hereforth referred to as "incident" to spare you). So we continue on and decide to visit the porta potty. Fine by me...it helps...a little bit...but after I get out, yours truly somehow managed to walk straight into a cactus. Brilliant start to my day. All the runners around me were VERY concerned and rushed to my aid. Luckily there was no blood and nothing stuck in me. Okay...I still have two legs in tact...phew...and we continue walking, until I duck behind a tree for incident number 2. Clearly, my marathon morning was not going as planning.

Coach Sarah tells me I should stop by the medical tent to see if they have anything to help calm my nerves and get my stomach in check. I meet with the doctor. There is absolutely nothing they can give me...other than the following advice: "don't run today. if you do, you'll need an IV in your arm by mile 8."

I stood there dumbfounded...like hell I'm not doing this. I don't care if I need an IV by mile 8, I'm at least going to try...and with that, I signed my life away on a "I promise not to sue you should anything happen to me today and I am knowingly racing against doctor's orders" waiver.

Behind the medical tent they're giving massages. And at the time, it seems like a great idea. They have a single chair massage station set up, followed by about 3 dozen tables. With my acid reflux, laying down wasn't even an option, but the gal who took care of me in the chair was a saint. She could totally tell I was crazy nervous and did everything in her power to calm me.

After the massage I find Margie and we stretched while Coach Sarah was finishing up her massage. I left for about 5 minutes...enter yaking incidents three, four and five. Wow. I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I really think I can do this now!! The only thing that had been coming up was that awful banana. The bagel, as far as I could tell, was still in me. Not too much liquid was lost. But I felt one million times better and so I slowly sipped on my gatorade and headed for gear check.

By now I could tell coach was crazy nervous about me running. So she tells me that she's going to go the first three miles with me, and then have my husband and dad drive her to other locations along the coues. This was an absolutely fantastic and brilliant idea. I knew she'd be able to keep my nerves in check until the gun went off. I was feeling so much better.

...and with that, we finished stretching with Margie, and headed for the corrals...

I am officially a marathoner...

...and I've got the medal to prove it!



...my official race report soon to come. stay tuned...

And off I go!

Didn't sleep well from 4-on. It's about 5:20. Still need to pack up toiletries and such. Sitting here in my pj's more or less shocked of lack of sleep.

Let's hope I can pull off a nice long power nap on the plane.

Have a fantastic weekend!

-B.

Status: 10:43pm. The night before I leave.

Okay.

I've got about 95% of everything packed. Still waiting for the ontourage of support to kick in from someone...but it's yet to happen. :taps fingers: ...but whatever. I'm psyched for me and that's all that matters.

Everything that should be charged is plugged into some outlet somewhere. Garmin is all revved up already and tucked into my carry on. Digi cam is in the kitchen next to the iPod....cell phone is by my record player...soon to be by my bed serving as a back up alarm.

We ended up ordering some pizza and breadsticks tonight, though my stomach is sorta mad that I did. Reglan isn't helping just yet...but I'm hopeful it'll make a difference soon. Clothes are finishing up in the dryer right now...I basically shelled out the $2.25 in laundry to make sure my running undies were clean. If ya gotta special pair...GO WITH IT. Dont question it. Oh tan Nike running thong, how do i love thee?!

I thought about painting my toenails tonight, too. Which seems kinda silly considering how ugly my feet are these days...and because it's winter and no one except for me is looking at my toes...but then I noticed I still have a little bit of pink polish on my right big toe. ...uhm...yeah...that patch is really from my birthday...in September...gross...I know...but that little patch of chipped paint kinda says...good luck barb! let's treat me to a new look when all this is done!! and so...I opted to leave the grossness there, as I have become quite fond of it the past hour or so. It's some funny-named shade from OPI. Who gets to name nail polish anyway? I'd like to meet them one day. They must be really creative...hmm...

In other news...I keep thinking about how 26.2 is quite a large number. There's something about that number, too. Is it the .2 that scares me? Like getting to 26 shouldn't be too difficult, but it's that last little .2 that does you in. ...and if one more person asks how long a marathon is...I may have to deck them.

But the beeper just went off, so it's off to the laundry room for me.

Perhaps I'll post before I leave in the morning. My ass is waking up at 5. I don't even get up that early for my weekend runs! I think the last time I was up that early was to drive Dice to the start line of the Chicago Marathon. Hmm....

Okay.

If I don't get back on...love you all lots and send me lots of good running on Sunday morning. Lordy knows I'll bee needing 'em!! ....and cross all your crossables that my nerves get in check.

-B.

Counting down the hours...

Well...I leave for Phoenix in a little over 13 hours. I've somehow managed to wrap my head around packing. The coaches gave us a checklist and me, being the overachiever that I am, went through it so many times that Santa would proud. I still need to do one more load of laundry to wash the rest of my running stuff. My fleece has the odor of the sweat towel at the bottom of the barrel in the workout room. But packing, thus far, is going well.

My dad called a little bit ago to quadruple check that I am actually going to do this. yes dad...i am...i promise i'm not going to punk out moments before the start line...so relax. go play your golf and i'll see you out there.

I'm starting to get hungry and have no clue what to eat. What I reaaaaaaaally want is pizza. Oh.my.god. I am craving it like it's nobody's business. But is pizza really what I should be eating now? It's quite tempting...

I'm off to rummage. I'm sure you'll hear more from me later.

-B.

oh, and if you didn't notice, we're not making it to my company's holiday party this evening. Which sucks cause I really wanna go, but there's so much left to do...like...uh...you know, blog and stuff. :)

Some days are good, and others are...well, like today.

So today wasn't exactly the best day. It was tense at work. Arguably more tense at home. And as a result of my chaotic day, my stomach is tied in thousands of knots. But I'm going to focus on happy thoughts, because right now I really need 'em...

So tonight I went over to some friend's for the KU/Colorado basketball game (which my Jayhawks won, thank you very much!)...which was some well-needed down time. They're too funny....they made me this little card with a drawing of me finishing the marathon...attached were 4 Energizer batteries so I could keep "going and going." I absolutely love and it's coming with me to Phoenix as a reminder that there's someone out there cheering for me. It's the little things showing support that are really making a difference this week. Thank god I have some good friends, otherwise I'm not sure I'd be in one piece right now. Dice called to make sure I had been checking the weather forecast and was packing properly...well, the plan was to pack more tonight, which didn't get done. But apparently the forecast is calling for some rain Sunday. Not ideal, but it won't stop me and certainly won't make me melt. And of course, there are countless well wishes at work from colleagues in both Chicago and New York. It's nice to know people are rooting for you, even if it is from afar.

Aside from that, today was designated as my official freak out day. I did rather well...I think. I'm convinced the insanity from my day at work diverted the freak out energy into other things...like...oooh I cannot believe Moody just made that 3-pointer! Okay, bad example, but I'm pretty certain it'll all catch up with me tomorrow. Like I'll be sitting at my desk, working on something...and I'll have my "oh shit" moment...my insides will swell up with nerves, my tounge'll get fat, the room will begin to spin into a dizzying blur and my mentality will be shot for the remainder of the day (sorry Wally, I will do everything in my power to concentrate).

In the meantime, I must go and defunk myself. Cause frankly, I really am in a funky mood...sorta just idle. Not really excited for anything at the moment. Just...sitting here...waiting to get a little attention, but whatever. I tell ya, the tension over here is really putting me in a major funk. Plus I still need to shower, so I guess that totally changes the context of "defunk." Maybe a shower will make the last 55 minutes of today go better? Let's find out.

-B.

ps...once this marathon is over, I'm getting my butt in a Bikram Yoga class. I have GOT to find a way to de-stress myself better. Running helps...but I think yoga will really help me mellow out.

Mental Check.

I lied. I promised I wouldn't start freaking out until tomorrow. But as far as I'm concerned, it's Wednesday somewhere and the nerves have been getting to me all day. I've been pretty sick since noon, and lost a bunch of fluids earlier (no, not to my computer thanks to 21 Days/Jess' earlier post) after a stressful day at work. I've felt so sick all afternoon and evening. So I've been sipping on gatorade and only managed to eat a little bit of bread for dinner. Not so good considering my marathon is SUNDAY. Argh.

So yah...physically...I'm okay. Could be better. But I have no injuries, so I'm not going to complain! Mentally...I've already started at the mind games. I have faith in the training system. But I'm just excited and nervous.

It reminds me of my junior year of high school when I got SO SICK on the way to take my SATS. I had been dreading them for god knows how long and I simply made myself sick over it. Not good. So I'm doing my best to keep myself busy and not think about the 'thon for too long in one sitting. It's just so hard because it's SOOOOOOOOOO CONSUMING. I've lived...breathed....eaten....trained....and slept for this marathon. It's hard not to let myself think about it. Lucky for me the next two days should fly by. My Jayhawks have a game tomorrow night so we're headed to a friend's place. Then Thursday is our company party. We're going to stop by for a few minutes since I have to be up before sunrise the next morning.

If anyone's interested in checking out my race course...you can catch a video of it here. All you need is Windows Media Player. I find myself watching it, trying to ID key points to look for in the marathon. Could be part of my whole "you're psyching yourself out" strategy.

Okay. I'm forcing myself to get to bed. Have a good evening!
-B.

My Marathon by Numbers

26.2 - The distance of a marathon in miles. The distance of every marathon in fact. No, a marathon cannot be 5 miles...or 15 miles. It is 26.2. every.last.time. Anything over 26.2...is just plain crazy...also known as an ultra. Read as....something I am not likely to do in my lifetime. But then again, I never thought I'd do a marathon, either.

11353 - My bib number. And I cannot wait to wear it proudly.

11 - My corral...probably the last corral in the lot. But whatever. Who cares? I'm still there and ready to ROCK!

29 - The number of people I am running in honor of or in memory of. My assigned patient is Rhonda Kottke with the race dedicated to Danny Weed. ...editors note: check out my marathon shirt below!!

6h - My goal finish time.

6:15-6:30 - My likely finish time.

7h - My "race plan went to hell and all I want to do is finish even if it's dead last place" finish time.

5:30am - The time I have to get up Friday morning. Who the heck puts me on a flight before 10:30am? Seriously. 8:45 flight? Is this a joke? Am I going to show up and be the only one from my team there? Like a ha.ha.wepulledafastoneonbarbara type thing. Joke or no joke...let's just hope I make it on the plane. And that's no joke.

5144 - The total amount you helped me raise for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I couldn't have done it without your generosity and support.


So with that, I'm proud to share my race shirt with you. If you're on the course...say hi...i think i may be hard to miss with the zillion ribbons zipping around off my back...I'd say speed up to find me, but who am I kidding. You'll have to walk a few miles so i could catch up to you. :)

and in the words of one of my favorite Self songs:

...confidence a plenty in my marathon shirt...

This time next week...

This time next week...

...I'll be running around with a medal around my neck.
...I will have accomplished something I never thought possible.
...I will be a part of the "elite" group of people known as marathoners.

I'm counting down the days until I'm in Phoenix...4 to be exact (I'm not counting today since it's almost 10)! And only 6 more days until my marathon. I've been mentally packing everything I need...most important on the list is my pillow. Yes...a grown woman will be toting her pillow along from home...cause ya see...it's one of 'em special wedge pillows that helps avoid acid reflux. I figure I'd rather look ridiculous carting around this massive thing instead of battling an acid attack the night before the race.

There's still a ton of stuff I still need to buy though...I ran a bunch of errands this evening...picked up some cheap sweats at Target which I am convinced is the seventh circle of hell (literally every mother in the chicagoland metropolitan area was there at 6 with her 15 screaming children)...picked up a USB port for my Garmin (woohoo! I can use the online software now!)...as well as a traveling iPod charger. You know...the necessities.

And I've already got stuff like Bodyglide, GU and Bio-Freeze ready to go...but I want to bring some of those instant ice packs with me for aches and pains in the hotel, along with a handful of misc. things that are completely escaping my mind right now (so much for my mentally packing, right?) ...I owe Walgreens a trip anyway later tonight.

But I've got my name on my singlet and I've got to put all the ribbons on the back soon. I'll post pictures when the paint dries and I've got it all figured out.

It's sorta surreal. It's all really happening!!

An absolutely BRILLIANT day...

Oh yes...yes it was...

Today was my last group run with TNT before my marathon (uh...yah...that thing...that 26.2 dash...it's really next Sunday...I am officially in freak out mode!!!!!!!!) and it was a fantastic final run! I went 4.45 miles in 1h3m03s...weeeeeeeeee! Although I accidentally set my interval time to a 5:1 instead of a 4:1...oops. So really, I should've gone another quarter mile further or so. But whatever...it's taper time...so it ain't no thang...the entire spring team was thrilled that our 'thon is next weekend...we got hugs and MANY wishes of good luck...Tovah gave us all TNT shirts and we bid adieu...until Friday at 7am when we meet up for our flight (who allows people to schedule flights THAT early in the morning!?!?)...I'm setting six alarms so I don't oversleep. Six...NO JOKE.

But I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to my Garmin Forerunner...as it turns out, the Garmin wasn't bunk...just its owner. I didn't realize there's a difference between "Total Distance/Time" and "Distance/Time." Uh...yah...I'm brilliant...that's a quality education I got from my Catholic school days, isn't it? ....the ability to read directions! Truth be told, I didn't realize there was even a "total" option. So yes...I, Barbara, am a genius. But all is fixed now and I've actually figured out to work this fantastically silly watch...I'm convinced it may be smarter than I am...I can't wait to use it next weekend...you know, for that long run I'm venturing to Phoenix for with 14,000 of my closest running buddies. ;)

So after my wonderful, amazing, I'm on top of the world run...I ran home and showered....cause ya see....today got even better...we were having a handful of our Jayhawk friends over for "Kegs & Eggs (minus the Kegs)" for the Kansas vs. Kentucky basketball game. We were all SOOOO nervous about the game....Kentucky being a massive powerhouse (we are too, even though we're not ranked at the moment...) and we beat them last meeting on their home court. Well...breakfast was fantastic...the friends were great (as if we'd have sub-par friends...SHA!) ...and our Jayhawks were un-freaking-believable! Absolutely unstoppable! I feel like Bill Self has finally figured out who we are this year.

Not only did we eat breakfast....but we ate wildcat as well. :) Kansas 73. Kentucky 46. Take that "Number 21" in the polls!! ...and this better get us on ESPN's Bracketology list, or else Dickie V will hear an earful from me (cause uh...yah...we go way back and stuff).

...and just when we think our day can't get ANY BETTER...we FINALLY got our wedding album back. Holy macaroni...it's GORGEOUS. And massively thick and huge and beaaaaaaaautiful. The Wrigley Field spread is simply stunning. How we got on the field to take pictures STILL baffles me.

I won't bore you with photos, but if you really want to see...check em out here...and here...and here...and here, too!

So today, was a very good day. Arguably the best day I've had in a really, really long time.

Great Run.
Garmin Works.
Jayhawks Rock.
Wedding Album worth the wait.
The 'thon is in a week.

...this time next week, I will hopefully be resting in Arizona...preparing for the end of my fantastic journey. It'll be bittersweet. I'm really sad my TNT experience is almost over. I really feel like I've made a difference with the LLS. At least I hope I have. And I've learned so much about myself along the way. Never in a million years did I think I'd have the patience and discipline to transform myself into a endurance athlete....gasp...did i just say athlete?!?! oh man...am i? i don't have an athletic bone in my body (just a bunch of really stubborn and determined ones!!) ...but hell, I AM AN ATHLETE.

I've learned that a marathon isn't just a one-day event. It's dozens of miles, spread over a series of months...it's been a long time coming. I've put in the time and the effort. The HARD PART IS OVER. My marathon is simply the reward for all of my training, hardwork and dedication.

And I couldn't be prouder.

Tension Headaches & Marathon Massages

So today was a good day. Kept very busy at work and was able to pull away by 5:30 (although I arguably could've been there until 8 or 9 going at different projects). I didn't realize how stressed out I was until I got home. Although I actually think my stress is coming more from anxiety about my marathon next weekend than from work...but whatever. Ain't no thang on me.

So I came home with the hopes of running, but it didn't happen because of a headache I had brewing in my brain since around 3:30. I opted to update my iPod marathon playlist instead. Special shout out to Kittenhead for sending me the mp3 of AC/DC's Thunderstruck. I appreciate it, Sonia! It'll be the first song I play as I cross the starting the marathon. Definitely enough power to get my motor going. So thanks for the suggestion, girls, and thanks for getting it to me.

By the time I finished updating my iPod with a few more songs (mostly with the likes of Outkast, Missy Elliott and and stuff I normally wouldn't be caught dead listening to...) my head was absolutely pounding. I thought it was cause I was hungry...which certainly was not the case as I snarffed down some food. But seeing as I was late for my pre-marathon massage, I forgot about the foot to dash off to Urban Oasis.

The massage was AWESOME...and soooo well needed (and deserved, I'll add!). Cecily got all the kinks out of my shoulders and back...although I nearly rocket launched off the table when she got to my legs and feet. I think running has made me even more ticklish. Funny how sensitivity works. I was hoping it'd help my headache go away, but no such luck.

I came home to dinner and some aleve...and it still hurt. Throbbing. Right behind the eyes and at the top of my neck. I could literally feel my brain pulsating...which is a rather scary experience if it's never happened to you before. Mike seems to think I could be getting the migranes my dad and sister are so accustomed to...god forbid. So I've been moping around...trying to shake this stupid headache. Finally, with the help of a heat pack, it's just now starting to subside...nearly 6 hours later. Not feeling super fantastic...but at least I can see straight now.

Good news...I got my sapphire ring back from the jeweler today. ANNNNNNND our new queen bed came this morning. Thanks Mom & Dad...what a rockstar Christmas gift. I can hear it calling my name right now...luring me to dreamland...can you hear it? Do ya?

:yawn:

Good night!

-B.

Running Resolutions...and then some.

On my way into work this morning, I got to thinking about my resolutions...or lack thereof. I'm not big on resolutions. I'm more of a goal-setter who works her tail off to achieve said goal.

And then I got to Tom's (Running Pol) amazing running resolutions for this year (a Tri...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I'm so jealous of your zest and stamina!) and I got to thinking...I actually do have resolutions...i just don't call them that. I call 'em goals. And typically I don't write them down...because well...then I'd be admitting to the world that x, y and z is what I have to prove for 2006 and god forbid someone hold me to them. But in a way, that's probably what I need to get my butt in gear for this year. So you...yes you! You out there reading this...the whole two or three people...hold me to this stuff! Got it?

So with that...here are some of my "running resolutions" and a few non-running ones, too, just for good measure...

1. Finish a marathon...clearly I am on target to do just that...in less than two weeks...12 days to be exact...26.2 miles is quickly approaching...omg...i have so much to do...i need to get a few more short runs in...there's never enough time though...26.2 miles is a really long way to go...i'm an idiot!...okay...shut up, barb...move on before you get yourself all worked up again.

2. Assuming I live to tell the tale of running resolution #1...finish another marathon, but making a more valiant effort to run the distance...less walking...more running...you know how it goes. It's unofficially official that it'll be the Chicago 'thon. But who knows...maybe I'll decide I'm better suited for another location this year.

3. Log around 600 training miles. An average of 50/miles per month. No sweat!!

4. Don't cheat at strength training and cross training...edit: don't cheat nearly as much...

5. Lose weight in the "off season" ...if you can claim there ever really is one. Weight gain during training was a harsh reality for me. :sigh:

6. Rock the socks off the Hustle up the Hancock (me? Stairs!?!? WHAT WAS I THINKING!?)

7. Get out of credit card debt. That lil' sucker is the root of all that is EVIL. I hate it. I'd cut it up if I had the guts...but then we'd be screwed if ever there was an emergency.

8. Relearn the true definition of emergency....oh so comfy and beautiful 1000-count thread sheets does not constitute an emergency....having a tire explode on your car, however, is.

So yeah. That's that. Only 8 little things for me to stick to. What are the odds it'll actually happen? We'll have to wait and see...

-B.

1.2.2006 - It's really happening.

Today I about had a panic attack...I realized that my marathon...my first marathon ever...my third "official" race...is NEXT WEEKEND. Next weekend as is...not this Sunday...but next. It's a VERY freaky sensation. I'm excited. And nervous. And scared. I go to bed 11 more times...then I'm in Arizona. 13 more times...and it's race day. And I've got so much to do between now and then. I'm sure I'll pack and repack my bag at least a half dozen times. I must remember to pack EVERYTHING I need for race day in my carry on bag. ...and find something to do/read to keep my mind preoccupied on the plane. Work is going to be insane this week. So much on our plate right now...which I'm sure will make time zip by even faster.

Sheesh...this is going to be here before I know it. This crazy lil' idea of mine 5 months ago...it's finally hitting its apex. I'm almost to the top. It's all almost over. Who would've guessed it would zip by so quickly.

I want to share the course elevation with you fine folks. It appears to be fairly flat. Hopefully nothing that'll get to my knees like the course down at Waterfall Glenn does. There are a few inclines that make me a wee bit nervous, mostly because I can't imagine how they really pan out without actually SEEING it. Namely Miles 5-12...they seem to be going up. Hrmmm...that's a good distance to be moving UP. Granted, it's a total of 100 feet or so over 7 miles...but I just can't fathom how that works out without seeing it...without actually running it. Ya know? I'm glad that the last few miles...18-on, are ALL DOWNHILL. And from the race map, it looks as if we run into Sun Devil Stadium to finish the race.

So yah...that's my race. We'll see how it all pans out! :) Now I just need to keep my nerves calm between now and next week. I need to convince myself that I'm not allowed to get all nervous and freak out until...hmm...Next Wednesday seems like a good day...let's see if I can hold myself to it!! :)

-B