Pennies from Heaven...

i found a penny today
just laying on the ground
but it's not just a penny
this little coin i've found

found pennies are from heaven
that's what my grandpa told me,
he said "angels toss them down."
oh, how i loved that story

he said, "when an angel misses you
they toss a penny down,
sometimes just to cheer you up
to make a smile out of your frown."

so don't pass by that penny
when you're feeling blue,
it may be a penny from heaven
that an angel tossed to you.

-Charles Mashburn

I should start this post by sharing with you that on Wednesday afternoon, a few moments after I last posted about my decision to suck it up and run the marathon, I learned that my TNT patient honoree, Keegan Grant had passed away. Keegan may have only been eight years old, but he truly was the heart, soul and spirit of our team.

I remember last year when I first started training with Team in Training, he would attend all the group runs that he could to cheer everyone, including his parents, on. He and his brother would help pass out water, offer high-fives, and be the first to say "good job" whenever we made it back to our starting point...always with his electric smile. That child had a smile that could light up the darkest room.

Today, when we arrived at training, everyone received a penny. Now this is certainly not normal tradition for our team, so we patiently (and puzzledly?) awaited to learn its purpose...

First Barbara F., mentor captain of the north team, gave the mission moment: A Tale of Two Mothers. She spoke of how 12 years ago her son Kevin was diagnosed with Leukemia. How it took a while to find a marrow donor and once they did, how there was less than a 20% chance of survival after the transplant. Her son Kevin survived and she is beyond thankful that she has had 12 more years of photos, of laughter and memories.

Then she spoke of Mimi's story. How her son Keegan was diagnosed with Leukemia a few days after his sixth birthday...and how he was a fighter and after a year of searching for a bone marrow donor, they finally found one in early August. We sent Keegan off with a cautious fanfare...hoping for the best.

This morning, while we were running, Doug and Mimi laid Keegan to rest. I couldn't get his family out of my mind the entire 18 miles.

Coach Chris told us the story of Pennies from Heaven. Of how they come from Angels who miss us. He told us to hold the penny tight and draw energy from it...and that during our run, he asked us to send that penny right back up to Heaven...back to Keegan...

I held onto my penny for a good mile before letting it go. I ran in silence...no iPod, no chatting...just me and my thoughts...thoughts of his family...

And somewhere, along the golf course, I said a wish for Keegan's family and released the penny next to a tree.

The first fourteen and a half miles of my run went well. My legs, for the most part, felt strong. I saw so many familiar faces out there...Lisa, Missy, Jurgita, Tracy and Erin. It was nice to be on the path in good company.

When I was returning back to the meet up point before heading out for the final three miles, my feet were hurting...my pirifomis was killing me...and my lower back was screaming at me to stop...during a walk break, just when I didn't think I could put my foot in front of me anymore, the sunlight reflected on something on the ground...

...a penny...

...and of course, my eyes started to welt up with tears and I just thought about Mimi and her family celebrating Keegan's life and how their hearts must be aching right now.

I gritted my teeth...put my head down...and pushed through. No matter how much pain I was in, it paled in comparison. And even though those last few miles were mostly walked...each step reminded me of my purpose with my committment to this marathon.

Everything was poised to make this a terrible run. I couldn't find my new running shoes (they're still MIA)...I accidentally doused gatorade over my head instead of water when trying to cool off...the sun was just, ugh--too hot...I got stopped for 10 minutes at Wacker St. b/c the bridge over the river was raising to let boats through...and my nutrition the past 48 hours was definitely lacking. And even with the cards stacked against me, Keegan helped pull me through. He was there through every last mile.

On October 22nd, 2006, I will run for Keegan...and for the hope of a cure so that no other mother has to lay their child to rest from one of these horrible cancers.

If you find any pennies from Heaven and want to send them Keegan's way...you can do so here.