The Long Walk Home...a reminder to myself...(and the verdict of the tests)...
When you run...you only run against yourself. No one else. Clear your head and just run...for yourself.
Tune out to the surroundings...let the speed demons pass you by without noticing their swift pace and graceful form...let the voices in the back of your head slip away and just run. For yourself and no one else.
And if you have to go slow. That's okay. If the heat is so bad it makes you want to throw up...that's okay, too. Just go at your own pace. Listen to your body. And just do what you can without killing yourself. Cause well...if you kill yourself, then you really can't run. Now can you?
I had to remind myself of this tonight...the good ole John Bingham philosophy...
Tonight I made it all of 1.5 miles before having to stop. As a result, I really pissed my hubby off (sorry hun). :( The heat was really just getting to me (9 at night and it was still 87-degrees). Soooo we turned around and walked home. I think we have a silent understanding that I'll be running solo from here on out. And I'm okay with that. I mean, I'm not going to be running with anyone...and I'm only racing against myself...so why let myself get all worked up about not being fast?
Anyways...on the long walk home I turned up some Smashing Pumpkins on the good ole iPod and watched the city lights reflect up from the lake...and then my "anthem" came on and I sang to myself. I thought about Billy Corgan sitting in this great city, writing such great lyrics...
...everyone should have an anthem...you know, the song that just really represents who you are and you seem to be able to solve all the world's problems when you listen to it. The song that makes you feel better that reminds you of your roots and all the goodness stuffed in between the wrinkles. Here's mine...
Mayonaise - Smashing Pumpkins
fool enough to almost be it
cool enough to not quite see it...doomed
pick your pockets full of sorrow
and run away with me tomorrow...june
we'll try and ease the pain
but somehow we'll feel the same
well, no one knows
where our secrets go
i send a heart to all my dearies
when your life is so, so dreary...dream
i'm rumored to the straight and narrow
while the harlots of my perils...scream
and i fail
but when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will
mother weep the years i'm missing
all our time can't be given...back
shut my mouth and strike the demons
that cursed you and your reasons
out of hand and out of season
out of love and out of feeling
so bad
when i can, i will
words defy the plans
when i can, i will
fool enough to almost be it
and cool enough to not quite see it
and old enough to always feel this
always old, i'll always feel this
no more promise no more sorrow
no longer will i follow
can anybody hear me
i just want to be me
when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will
And the verdict is...
A big thanks to you guys for your thoughts and prayers and emails of encouragement. I had my follow up exam today and it was determined that I have a cyst in my right breast. Good news is, it's going down in size...it's about half of what it was before. I'm going back in a month for another follow up...if it's still there, the sucker will get drained (uhmm...can you say OW?!). So here's to hoping that it miraculously disappears on its own!
Tune out to the surroundings...let the speed demons pass you by without noticing their swift pace and graceful form...let the voices in the back of your head slip away and just run. For yourself and no one else.
And if you have to go slow. That's okay. If the heat is so bad it makes you want to throw up...that's okay, too. Just go at your own pace. Listen to your body. And just do what you can without killing yourself. Cause well...if you kill yourself, then you really can't run. Now can you?
I had to remind myself of this tonight...the good ole John Bingham philosophy...
Tonight I made it all of 1.5 miles before having to stop. As a result, I really pissed my hubby off (sorry hun). :( The heat was really just getting to me (9 at night and it was still 87-degrees). Soooo we turned around and walked home. I think we have a silent understanding that I'll be running solo from here on out. And I'm okay with that. I mean, I'm not going to be running with anyone...and I'm only racing against myself...so why let myself get all worked up about not being fast?
Anyways...on the long walk home I turned up some Smashing Pumpkins on the good ole iPod and watched the city lights reflect up from the lake...and then my "anthem" came on and I sang to myself. I thought about Billy Corgan sitting in this great city, writing such great lyrics...
...everyone should have an anthem...you know, the song that just really represents who you are and you seem to be able to solve all the world's problems when you listen to it. The song that makes you feel better that reminds you of your roots and all the goodness stuffed in between the wrinkles. Here's mine...
Mayonaise - Smashing Pumpkins
fool enough to almost be it
cool enough to not quite see it...doomed
pick your pockets full of sorrow
and run away with me tomorrow...june
we'll try and ease the pain
but somehow we'll feel the same
well, no one knows
where our secrets go
i send a heart to all my dearies
when your life is so, so dreary...dream
i'm rumored to the straight and narrow
while the harlots of my perils...scream
and i fail
but when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will
mother weep the years i'm missing
all our time can't be given...back
shut my mouth and strike the demons
that cursed you and your reasons
out of hand and out of season
out of love and out of feeling
so bad
when i can, i will
words defy the plans
when i can, i will
fool enough to almost be it
and cool enough to not quite see it
and old enough to always feel this
always old, i'll always feel this
no more promise no more sorrow
no longer will i follow
can anybody hear me
i just want to be me
when i can, i will
try to understand
that when i can, i will
And the verdict is...
A big thanks to you guys for your thoughts and prayers and emails of encouragement. I had my follow up exam today and it was determined that I have a cyst in my right breast. Good news is, it's going down in size...it's about half of what it was before. I'm going back in a month for another follow up...if it's still there, the sucker will get drained (uhmm...can you say OW?!). So here's to hoping that it miraculously disappears on its own!
posted by Iron Jayhawk at 9:30 PM
23 Camper Comments:
So, so happy to hear about the test. Hooray for you! What a tremendous relief!
Woohoo! That's some good news on the test - here's hoping that it's just "one of those things", and is completely gone by next month!
Regarding your run - that's a great philosophy. I think we all need to be reminded from time to time that, while running is egalitarian (in the sense that we run the same course as the elites, and at the same time, only much slower), ultimately, the only real competition comes from inside us. Sometimes we "win" by setting a PR, sometimes by simply finishing, and sometimes by knowing when we need to listen to our body and takes our cues from it.
Great news on the test results. Let's keep our fingers crossed that next month is is gone!
So many of us seem to be struggling right now. I don't know if it's the weather or what. Hang in there!
I'm so happy for you!
And, as far as running goes that is great mantra. You'll get it figured out by race day I'm sure.
Great song--and good news on the "test." I prefer to run alone, just me and my iPod and great tunes like "Round Here" by the Counting Crows. (My Anthem.)
Really happy to hear about your test results. Glad everything is okay.
Great news, and a big hand across the forehead whew.
Notice how you were not the only one bonking yesterday, I skipped because of the heat, Leah and Jason had a tough run. It is the dog days of summer. Plus from the looks of RR's blog you may have still been recovering from a few shots. :)
great news on the test results. i had no idea all this was going on!
It just reinforces my philosophy on fixing things: If you ignore it, it fixes itself (somehow I think most doctors would disagree).
thanks for the motivation. sometimes putting things in perspective is the best thing you can do for yourself...and your running! (and thanks for my 1st comment! woo hoo!)
yeah for good news! and i'm sorry about your run :( but i totally dig running on my own!
I agree every Super-hero needs an anthem. That song that will get you through the toughest of times. You keep on being you.
fight like you train and train like you fight. running isn't a team sport.
Good job knowing when to call it off. Don't do yourself in like I did.
Cheers.
Rice.
Ahhh! So gald it's nothing to worry over! YEAH!!
As for running alone...did YOU not pay attention to the video you showed me? We never run alone in Chicago! You'll be fabulous!
I am SO happy that things are alright now.
As for the running, I agree that running alone is much better. It gives you time to think and not worry about someone else pacing you too.
yeah on the test! I also did the walk home yesterday AND today. sigh. I am funk-a-licious :-) hahaha. Maybe just laughing at ourselves is the key to getting out of the funk onto longer more quality AND MORE FUN workouts
Great news on the test results!! I had a lump removed a few years ago - it wasn't so bad, all things considered. And, running solo has its advantages. It's a wonder anyone can run in the weather we have all suffered.
You could always join us at the clocktower by the totem pole on saturday at 7am...lots of nice folks with all ranges of running groups...even 3 different paced run/walk groups (one is my group). It's a perfect fit for me right now so I can get 'restarted'.
Great news on the test. You must be so relieved!
I know how hard it is to run with people of different levels. Everyone in my Tuesday night group is either way faster or way slower than me, so I always end up on my own.
I usually run a very slow-paced 2 mile recovery run on Sundays. Would you be interested in joining me? We could go at a 12:00 place and stop to walk whenever you like. Interested?
Think that cyst away. You can do it. It always works for Mrs. T when faced with something nasty.
awesome news!!! glad to hear that.
and anthem songs are definitely a must. sounds dumb, cuz i know c.ag's isn't loved by all.. but SOAR is definitely my theme song..
i find running alone to be highly medicinal. i also find, and found this week especially... leaving that garmin/watch behind, escaping to the music and to your thoughts and going whatever speed is comfortable. walking when you want to...
sometimes it just makes for an awesome run, and i don't do it often enough.
i hope you find running solo as fulfilling as me and other solo runners do. having a partner is nice.. but i think there really is just something about going it alone out there!!!
enjoy!
Oh thank goodness it is nothing bad! I am very happy that you are healthy :)
I think my anthem is 32 flavors, but I prefer the Alana Davis rendition to the Ani DiFranco one.
Good news on the test!
And thanks for the reminder about running for ourself... I need to keep that in mind. I think I get too caught up in trying to be 'fast' that I end up causing injuries. :)
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