12.31.05 - Hrmm...not so sure about all this...

Okay...so today's run...I'm a bit uncertain about.

It went fine...I guess. I was out for around 2h50m or so...and covered 12 miles. Today I found that the bridge of my left foot was really bothering me early on. At first I thought my shoe was on too tight...but loosening it didn't seem to help very much. I'm icing it now, so hopefully it'll help ease the discomfort. I'm questioning my form at this point. It almost feels like I wasn't pushing off my toes or something. Rather difficult to describe.

So I brought the Garmin out with me. I think the GPS is off a bit. I did 12 miles...but only credited 9.11...it also said I was only out there for 2:20:43...which by all other clocks, including the actual clock on the watch, was incorrect. I'm gunna have to look into that. I wonder if it could be because of all the skylines and tall buildings. Hmm?

I was running down by Castaway off North Avenue and the Lake and I began to think about myself and whether or not I'm an athlete. I still don't consider myself one...heck, I don't think of myself as athletic...I really haven't since the beginning of college. I guess it bars the question...is it possible to be a marathoner and not be an athlete? I'm not sure. Perhaps after my marathon I'll actually FEEL like an athlete. Right now I don't...but I want to feel like one. At this point I'll even settle for the illusion of being an athlete...I'm putting way too much thought into this...I know.

I really wanted today to end with a bang, but it just was sorta...well...blah. I had an extremely BLAH last long run...and that makes me sad. There was nothing special about it. No amazing jolts of energy that make me feel like I was flying. No zany sights while out on the course. No interesting conversations with strangers. It was rather disappointing. Just a nasty, wet, gross morning...and my mood matched it perfectly. Perhaps I'm supposed to feel this way so close to the end of it all? I knew I could feel let down after the marathon. But before?

I'm just not so sure about all this...I know I'll go out there...and do what I have to do to finish...just the preparation game is really toying with me right now...I'm ready to be in Phoenix and be running my heart out. And two weeks from today...I will be!

At any rate...
Happy New Year...may you all have a safe and wonderful evening!! :)

-B

12.30.2005 - Last of the "long" runs...

Tomorrow morning is my last "long" run before my marathon in Phoenix. I'm a little nervous since I haven't exactly been able to run since mid-November. Needless to say, I'm a bit nervous about how it'll pan out...but I have faith in myself that all will be okay.

The weather looks to be icky...as usual. rain in the forcast through the evening with snow flurries in the morning. I just hope it's not super slick outside. That's never fun. So here's to a safe and injury-free run tomorrow morning. Could be worse...it could be crazy cold...

So I'm still waiting for the results of my gallbladder ultrasound and stomach/ugi/small intestines tests. I should know by Tuesday morning. I have a feeling I've got gallstones...but i'm no doctor. Now...if I can get all this barrium out of my system by tomorow morning's run, then I'll be in FANTASTIC shape. :)

Anyway...gotta go get all my stuff together for tomorrow morning...

Garmin...check.
iPod...check (I even updated my marathon playlist thanks to some wonderful suggestions).
Gloves...?
Ear Warmers...?
Gu...somewhere in the kitchen.

Have a good night!

12.30.2005 - Songs to run to...

Everyone has their favorites. I've found that songs I traditionally like, don't exactly get my butt in gear when I've hit the ground running. But I have some that do! Many of which are a little unusual like Meatloaf - Paradise by the Dashboard Lights...whats up with that?!

Here's what seems to get me motivated while I'm running around with my head cut off...

Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama
Radiohead - Idiotheque
Queen - Under Pressure
Smashing Pumpkins - Bodies
The Katies - Noggin' Poundin'
U2 - Zoo Station
Run DMC - Tricky
Jamiroquai - Cosmic Girl
Kanye West - Gold Digger
Self - Trunk Fulla Amps

And my favorite song to run to these days...
Self - MARATHON SHIRT

tell me who's to blame for this ink spot, question mark, blood-stained sleeves in the parking lot, ve had it since i was twelve and i wear it like hell, wash it when it gets worn, dirty, tattered, torn fell in love with me and wears me with pride, we bathe in ultra tide when i start to feel guilty, and everyone's jealous cause they wish they had it, i'm half a man without it, i'm the king of style...and i'll keep on wearing my marathon shirt and i'll wear it everyday til it hurts and i got no lady over her confidence-a-plenty in my marathon shirt...once loaned her to a friend for a party and i worried allnight like a mother does, and when she returned all wrinkled and helpless, she smelled of cheap cigarettes and other drugs, i'd wear her in any seasoni'd wear her for any reason, the only promise in my life's that shirt of mine, and day after day, as her colors fade away, i'll remember what she felt like the first time...now i've come to lay you down you can soak into the sound and i'm so elated she can't be recreated and the water's turning brown my baby she's no hand-me-down...

You can download a live version of it here. Good stuff, I say!!

But I want to expand my collection of running songs before the marathon...I've got around 250 or so on my "marathon playlist" but I'd love your input on what I should add. I thought about listening to some live concert bootlegs while I'm out there...but I'm not convinced that's the way to go...

Sooo...
What songs motivate you?
What gets you going?
What should I add to my marathon playlist??

Any suggestions?

12.26.2005 - Heheheee...new running toys!!

How sweet is this!?

Mike surprised me with a Garmin Forerunner 201 for Christmas...charts time, pace, an insane amount of rockstar stuff...I can't wait to go running and test it out...

Now if only I can get the GPS system to comply! That's the negative of living in a condo surrounded by ginormously tall buildings. C'est la vie!

12.24.2005 - Never been so proud to be another number.

And my number is 11353. :)

BRING IT ON.

12.21.2005 - Team in Training

So yesterday was a good day. I received an e-mail letting me know that the Coaches want me to consider being a mentor...a great opportunity to stay involved in TNT. I would help a group of those undergoing training with fund-raising and support them. My mentor right now is...uh...wait...WHO IS my mentor? Yah...exactly....not a freakin' clue. My mentor was never really around. I saw her at 1 training back in September. And uh...yah, that's it! She wasn't the best. So if I decide to do this, I am going to vow to be a rockstar mentor to my group. I think if I do it, I'm going to do it for the Chicago Marathon. Less fundraising stress...it's a local race....could be a blast :) And of course, I'll aim to do a good amount of running. Plus I think Taylor is game for it, too!! And I can always use a running buddy.

So I've got some choices to make in that regard. If I DO decide to be a mentor for the Chicago marathon, I have to decide if I go for the regular marathon training—or—if I sign up to be an early bird mentor....training begins in March for that. I'm thinking the early bird MAY be a bit much. I'll play it by ear. Though I am truly flattered. :)

So we had our pre-race meeting at Fleet Feet last night. We went over all the ins and outs of our marathon and how to prep the week before. We got our flight tickets – I'm officially going!! – and tickets to the pasta party and victory party...and....MY RACING SINGLET!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited about it. I can't wait to pin on all those names and wear them proudly.

January 15th will be here before I know it. There's so much to do! So little time! And with the holidays thrown in, it'll prove to be overwhelming and gone in the blink of an eye!

12.17.2005 - Someone cue up the Rocky theme...

...cause I did it! I did the full 20! Cue up the Rocky theme! Put the spotlight on me! I really did it!! I didn't wuss out. I didn't quit. I did the ENTIRE DISTANCE. The full 20 miles. That's a REALLLLLLY long way to go. Oof. Okay...so I had to walk all of it to avoid hurting my back/hip even more. But I did it! Since I knew I'd end up walking the vast majority of it, I showed up an hour early to get the first 4 miles done. Very wise decision. I felt accomplished before the training even started. So I get out there and it's cold. Bitterly cold. Colder than it was during the turkey trot last month.

You know it's cold when...there are mini icebergs bobbing up and down in lake Michigan...when you have "snotcicles" hanging off your nose by mile 6...when you can feel the blood in your hands come to freezing hault...man it was freezing. Different parts of my body took turns being numb...my first my hands...then my thighs...then my butt...then my arms. Rinse and repeat.

So here's a lil' breakdown...

Miles 1-4...gee, it sure is cold out here. I can't wait to get home and get my some tea! It'll be fabulous. I'll warm up. Get all cozy on the couch and just chill...perfect way to spend a cold day.

TNT meet up...all-city training for both the winter AND spring teams...boy were there a ton of people out there! It was really great to see everyone pulling together to get through the day's run. Jordan's mom gave the mission moment and told us about how her daughter (a patient honoree) was doing....and after a few announcements, we were on our way!

Miles 5-9....I can't feel my fingers. I think stopping for our team update really did me in. I should've kept moving. It's SO COLD! The wind coming from off the lake is insane. So I'm trucking along...and I turn the bend to hit our first water stop....and WHO do I see? Coach Darren dressed up as SANTA! It was hilarious!!! One of the coaches from the south team had an elf hat on, too. It was just what I needed. So I fueled up, and kept on moving (cause if I didn't, I might have turned into a barbcicle).

Miles 11-15...The stretch along the Belmont marina isn't so bad. There were lots of runners and I was able to make a pit stop in St. Joe's hospital. They're known for welcoming runners and the receptionist asked if I wanted tea or hot chocolate to warm up with. I ended up sitting by the heater for a second and shook out my legs before heading back into the cold. I hit Coach Jamie's water stop during this leg...I've had 2 gu's by this point and my stomach is being a little...well, weird. I'm glad to say that it at least complied with me for the vast majority of the day. So I kept running. My turn around point, since I had gone 4 miles earlier, was the 8-mile marker on the Lake Shore Drive bridge just past Navy Pier (those who hadn't come early had to run AROUND the Shedd Aquarium—which is quite the intimidating distance!). So I run there...turn around and head back home.

Mile 15...running back in front of the Drake. Feeling good, overall. Just cold. Very cold.

Mile 16...meet back with Jamie. From here on out is foreign territory for me. I have no idea what to expect after 16 miles. NO CLUE. So I stop and talk with her about the strategy for the final four miles. In my mind things will go perfectly okay. She makes me eat 2 chocolate cookies. Not a fan of chocolate cookies, so I try to deny them...but she won't have it. Surprisingly, they taste incredible at this point. She makes me pocket an additional 2 and sends me off. Coach Kristin from the West team walks with me for a quarter mile or so. It's nice having someone to talk with...helps you focus less on the pain and more on just getting through the moment.

Mile 17...legs are slowly becoming lead. I feel as if I'm moving at the speed of a lil' ole lady with a walker...you know, the kind with the tennis balls stuck on the bottom. I finally begin to understand the phrase "Your marathon begins at mile 18" – that is where the true test comes in. It feels like my body is starting to shut down...DO NOT FAIL ME NOW! That's all I keep telling myself. And then, out of no where...the Doors "Break On Through to the Other Side" comes on my iPod. Out of the 1500 songs stuck on there, that's the one that pulls up on random. So in my mind, I'm telling myself to just keep moving and going at it until you get through to the other side of the wall. Ignore the pain...don't listen to your angry feet....just keep going. So I pull a cookie from my pocket, woof it down and continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Miles 18-19...OH.MY.GOD. are you kidding me?!? THIS is what this feels like? I'm not so sure this is a bright idea any more. This is quite obnoxious actually. My body is throbbing! Am I supposed to feel all funky and border-line delirious? I keep telling myself that I can do it...just keep moving... but really, I just want to hail a cab for the final 2 miles back to our starting point. It's at that time that Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" comes on my iPod...so I have to sing along. More like...scream along...near tears...i'm just ready for this day to be done with. DON'T STOP...BELIEVIN'...HOLD ONTO THIS FEEEEEEEEEEEEELING (hmm...not sure I want to hold onto this feeling of PAIN)..and with that, she comes out of the distance...what is that? Is that an angel? Am I dying? Nah...Coach Sarah, in her bright white jacket, is running toward me...she looks all hazy cause I'm seriously teary-eyed....GOD BLESS HER! She always seems to appear when you need her most. Oh man, I hope she didn't hear my weak Journey rendition!!! I wouldn't want to subject her to that. So we walk together for close to a half mile. I love how talking to someone gets your mind off the things you want to focus on. We talked about how I was going to reward myself for the 20-miler (a shower and a nap, of course!) And before I know it, she's giving me the BEST.PEP.TALK.EVER...how I'm so optimistic about everything (uh...not at this moment, but go on, coach!)...and how out of all of her "kids" she's the most confident about me finishing (really? Cause those cabs are looking mighty fine right now)....and after lots of warm fuzzies, and the promise of hot chocolate served by Santa at the finish line, she sends me on my way. Alone. To finish what I've started.

Mile 20...I'm slightly re-energized from Coach Sarah's rockstar comments...but still feel as if I am totally dragging. I chow down on my last and final cookie from Coach Jamie and use every fiber of my being to get me back to where I started. ...where my nice car will be waiting for me to warm up in...where hot chocolate and donuts and coffee are calling my name...where I can put an end to this temporary insanity. As I turn the final bend to the open soccer fields...I can see it all sitting there in the distance waiting for me...and on my iPod, 311 comes on..."Feels so Good" ....you know, the song about throwing all that bad shit back in someone's face and it feels so good...or in my case, it's me telling off that 20-miler in sub-zero temperatures. And while I was in a good deal of aches and pains...it surprisingly felt GREAT. I push through the last bit of soreness and make myself run the final 50 yards. The first time I ran all day. WOW. It felt good.

Santa greeted me with a hug and offered me some of their fabulous fixins. I couldn't eat a bite. Suddenly donuts and hot chocolate and coffee didn't sound so appetizing. I sorta wanted to hide behind a snow bank and just yak up all that GU I had consumed. Once I stopped running it all sort of caught back up with me. The soreness, the emotions, the frustration of not running intervals the whole time. I wanted to cry, but I fought the tears.

With that...I crawled into my car and started the drive home. I wanted to call everyone I knew. My marathon maniac godfather...my mom...josh...and of course, all those who told me there was no way I'd ever do a marathon (you know, to prove 'em wrong). I've gone 20 miles...what's another 6.2...right?!?! :)

By the time I got home, I could barely walk. I stretched out and crawled into a warm shower. All I could do was sit on the bottom of the tub and sob as the water poured over me. And it felt good. I'm not sure if I was crying because I hurt...or because I had just accomplished something that 4 months ago I started dreading...or perhaps a combination of the two? But the release felt good. I kept thinking to myself "why am I crying?!? What will I be like after I cross the finish line in phoenix?!" ...I'm excited to find out.

By the time I dried off and got dressed, Mike was back home. He promptly tucked me into the couch for a lazy, well-deserved afternoon of rest, relaxation, recovery, and movies. I did it. I did the full 20-miles. And I called about a half dozen people and left each a voicemail proudly stating the fact that I nailed my longest run before the marathon.

So even after all that... I CANNOT WAIT FOR PHOENIX!! I am so excited. :) Yes, I know it'll hurt. And I'm well aware of how sore and tired I'll be after the fact. But I'm going to get one of those medals. And once I do, it's never coming off.

12.16.2005 - Afraid. Very afraid.

So tomorrow morning is the dreaded 20 miler. Considering I missed my 18 mile run I am absolutely, positively dreading tomorrow. I'll admit it. I am scared. I'm nervous and I am soooo very afraid. In my case...what happens after 16? I only know how my body handles up to 16 miles...and in the case of my 16-miler, it didn't go over very well. It's been nearly a month since I did anything of a substantial distance (anything over 6 miles...UGH). Am I out of my mind. I think I have every right to fear what tomorrow has in store. I just hope there isn't snow or wind...that'll make it 100x worse.

I'm dreading it so much that I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned for hours upon end. It wasn't pretty. Around 2:30 I woke up in a cold sweat freaking out that I was going to have enough rest to run my 20-miler...thinking it was only a few hours away when I woke up. Today I am seriously dragging ass. I am so tired!!!

I *know* it'll be okay. I know it will. I'll get out there...get in my groove...turn on some tunes and just DO IT. Why? Because that's what I'm out to do. I've got it stuck in my head that come hell or high water I will cross the finish line in Phoenix. I just need to convince myself that I will go the full 20 tomorrow. Coach Jamie keeps telling me to just listen to my body and not overdo it right now...the furthest she went before her marathon was 16 miles (she had a broken foot). But she still did it.

I've been doing a lot of walking this week to avoid aggravating my back/hip. I'm hoping that I'll be able to do a bit of running tomorrow. But I don't anticipate doing a lot unfortunately. So yah...basically, I am walking a full 20 miles tomorrow. I'm getting there an hour early to get the first 4 miles done before the coaches show up. Then I'll do the remaining 16 after our team pow wow.

I'm just so tired as it is right now, and we've got company coming into town this evening so I know I'm going to have to go out rather than stay in and rest up like I should. Argh. This is so aggravating!!!! I really just want to put on sweats and curl up under the blanket and catch up on my Z's.

Tuesday night is our prerace meeting at Fleet Feet. I believe we get our racing singlets then...along with all sorts of well-needed information about the race and of course...the advice.
I know I've put in the effort. The hard part (with the exception of tomorrow morning!) is basically done. I just need to get out there and grab my reward...which in this case, is the marathon itself.

Once I get that medal, it's never coming off.

12.10.2005 - Day Cut Short.

So this morning's run was cut short. And not by my doing. The path was so icy, half the team was sliding around like a flock of penguins (do penguins come in flocks?). The new spring team had a good showing, but of the 20-something folks on the winter team, 4 of us showed up...all of us being Phoenix-bound marathoners.

I guess I should backtrack...when I first pulled up to our meeting point I nearly died...someone had the bright idea to dump ALL of the snow from Chicago's snow plows into our one parking lot. I'm talking about this massive, mountain of gray slushy mushy gunk. It was quite the site to see. So we had all of our cars, all lined up in a row along the side. Everyone stayed in their cars until the last possible moment. I, for one, leaned my seat back and attempted to stretch with the heat going full blast. On top of that, I'm rocking out to Smashing Pumpkins (I'm sure that comes as a surprise).

After everyone piles out of their cars and huddles together in one massive bear hug, we learn that our game plan for the day has changed. The winter team no longer has 100 minutes...but only has to do an hour. While I'm thrilled at the news since it's so damn cold, in the back of my mind I am quite worried since I missed the 18-miler last week and didn't do any mid-week training since my back/hip was recovering.

I accept the hour challenge and take off. I start off with my intervals...4:1...going along my merry way....eyes down to avoid black ice...actually surprising myself with the notion of enjoying the cold, brisk weather. Time to run...I grab the water bottle from my fuel belt (otherwise it bounces out) and pick up the pace...everything's fine...

go back to walking...walking in the cold at 8am is quite the eye opener! If ya haven't tried it, you really should...it's exhilarating in thin running tights. Time to run again...and away I go past Judy and Larry...

slowing down, I generally feel pretty good...I think to myself...gee, my back isn't doing too bad! perhaps it's so cold out here, I've just numbed my entire body...

And so I pick up the pace to run again...and THADUNK DUNK. I've jinxed myself.
Terrible pain is shooting through my tailbone. Clearly, this is not good.

I pull off at the next snow plowed side section and stretch my body out. I did the fun "mid-run pressure stretches" that Amy, my PT at AthletiCo, showed me and went one my way...
yeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwwww!

Okay...so running...clearly out of the question. This is NOT going to fly at the rate I'm going at. So I walked the last 45 minutes. WALKED. And I have slowly come to terms with the fact that this Saturday, OUR BIG 20-MILER...will be walked. I am sooooooooooo not happy about this.

But I'm just focusing on the fact that regardless of how it happens, I will complete the distance. With 26.2 miles ahead of me in a little over a month, that last big distance day is key. It's so important to get it in. So I just have to buck up and go to town. I'll flip on my iPod, find my groove and just shake my tailfeather for 20 miles up and down the lake front. I think I'm going to show up early...around 6:45 or 7am to get ther first few miles done so the coaches don't have to wait around for my pokey butt to finish!

In other news, my pace buddy, Mary finished the Honolulu marathon in 7h10minutes. I've yet to hear her story, but I'm a bit nervous that it took her so long to cross the finish. I'm sure she had to walk most of the mountainous parts. I'm so proud of her for finishing! She's such an inspiration for me to just get out there and do it! Mary, like me, missed her 18-mile day.

...32 days and counting until my marathon. What the hell have I gotten myself into?